How Board Games Helped Me Make New Friends

Making friends as an adult is tough. When you're in college, you're in an environment that lends itself to connections. It's easier to meet people your age who share your interests. As an adult working full-time, I've had to make more of a concerted effort to connect with people. I have made friends at work, but it is different to meet people completely outside of any context you have like work or class.

I've mingled in some social meetup groups in my community recently and have made some awesome friends in the process. When we hang out, we typically have game nights where we play different card or board games together as a social activity for our small group. It's been a fun way to help get to know each other and just have fun outside our normal routines. While I was not one to play a lot when I was younger, board games have helped me solidify my first adult friendships, and I'm eternally grateful for that.

Some of the games that my friends and I play have been Cards Against Humanity (a common favorite), We Didn't Playtest This At All, Geek Battle, Man Bites Dog, and various others as well as just other random card games that some of us know of that we use a regular deck of playing cards for. It's been a lot of fun to discover new games like these since board games are experiencing a bit of a Renaissance now it feels like. Games like these just help us put down our phones and interact with each other through a simple and fun activity. Some of the games are mindless fun, others are competition based. A bit of friendly competition though is never a bad thing!

I highly recommend exploring this world of board games with your friends, if they're old or new, you can find a fun game to engage with. There are so many different types now that you can definitely find something you'll enjoy.

Thanks for stopping by!

How Higher Ed Is (Or Should Be) Like a Social Good Company

I had an epiphany the other day while talking to my partner regarding a mental connection about higher education and social good companies (like TOMS, Warby Parker, Krochet Kids, FEED, and many others across the country). They share many of the same traits and goals but in some other very important ways, higher education is falling behind these organizations in realizing their place as a social institution meant to benefit the community it serves.

First off, the similarities between the two. Higher education institutions and social good companies both are making money in order to propel their missions. Colleges and universities are funding their endeavor to educate the citizens of tomorrow, while social good companies are selling a product to benefit their chosen cause. All the money (typically) goes toward that end goal. While they have to pay for personnel to fulfill and facilitate their operations, they put their profits to good work rather than just sitting on them. This is generally called a "double bottom line". A lot of major corporations are trending this way, with huge donations to various nonprofits or their transition toward supporting responsibly made products. There is a push toward this in the economy since a lot of people vote with their dollars in terms of buying products that align with their values. They won't buy something that isn't responsibly made and look for items that are sustainable, fair trade, organic, etc. Some companies and higher education institutions will even go as far to include the planet in their impact, abiding by a "triple bottom line". This entails all the possible impact organizations can have; profits, people, and planet. This is an even harder reality to embody but those companies that do are definitely leaving their communities far better than when they found them.

The differences begin in terms of the rates of adoption between social good companies and higher education institutions. A company like Krochet Kids was built recently from the ground up as an entity that kept their global impact in mind. Many colleges and universities have been around for decades (or centuries) with greatly varying missions and traditions. They could not have foreseen the need for globally conscious sustainability measures that are necessary now in the face of climate change. While some institutions have done well adapting, these venerable organizations just aren't as nimble when confronted with the dynamic nature of modern social need.

College students are more globally minded and connected than ever before. They understand the needs of their community and want to be engaged in doing social good and changing the world. They are eager to learn how and that is where student affairs professionals can come in. We can offer programs and opportunities to capitalize on this energy to create socially conscious leaders who understand the urgency of the problems facing the world and have the confidence to try to solve them.

This was the original vision behind Rutgers Changemakers. I had the pleasure of working with this initiative when I was studying as a graduate student at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ. It was an amazing effort that I was proud and privileged to be a part of with some awesome student affairs colleagues, namely Krista Kohlmann among others.

I will be presenting on Rutgers Changemakers at ACPA 2015 with Krista. Our session is 1PM on Friday, March 6 in the Tampa Convention Center, Room 37. I hope to see some friendly faces there.

Thanks for stopping by!

Book Review: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

"...when you put your house in order, you put your affairs and your past in order, too. As a result, you can see quite clearly what you need in life and what you don’t, and what you should and shouldn’t do."

This recent book from Marie Kondo looks at how we can get our entire lives in order by "tidying up". By this, Kondo means going through all of your belongings and critically interrogating if you need them and if they bring you joy. Items that you don't need or items that don't bring you joy must be sold, donated, recycled, or just thrown out. The author outlines a detailed order of how to go about this process and guarantees success and commitment to the tidying you do. She has helped thousands of people get their lives tidied and this has enabled them to become happier and healthier people in several different ways.

What I plugged to in about this book was its undercurrent emphasis on minimalism. It was recommended to me after a conversation on the matter, and I was able to breeze through the book to gain the main points. I don't need to advice personally as I feel as though I already bought into the philosophy behind it. It does give a very thorough outline for others to follow though, which is something I like about it. The book has a simple point to make and if that is all it was, it could just be condensed to a blog post, but it gives you an actionable framework to follow to make your life better right away.

A great quote I enjoy is concerning keeping old papers:

"My basic principle for sorting papers is to throw them all away. My clients are stunned when I say this, but there is nothing more annoying than papers. After all, they will never inspire joy, no matter how carefully you keep them. For this reason, I recommend you dispose of anything that does not fall into one of three categories: currently in use, needed for a limited period of time, or must be kept indefinitely."

I don't like paper to begin with but a few things really do need to be printed and kept. Most of the paper we get and have does not, so we can recycle all that paper and remove the clutter and burden from our lives.

I recommend this book for anyone looking to clear the clutter of their lives. It could be too many clothes, too much paper, or just all the junk we all absentmindedly collect over time. A clear space is a clear mind in my perspective.

"To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose"

Thanks for stopping by!

Pocket These Podcasts: What I'm Listening To Lately

Podcasting has been experiencing a renaissance recently. With the continued success of some foundational shows and the current breakaway success of some few shows, podcasting has become more mainstream in a big way. The quality is increasing, the topics or more nuanced and deep, and the audience is growing exponentially. I've been a fan of the medium for years now, and I'd like to share a few of the awesome new shows I've been listening to lately.

Startup Podcast

I was recommended this show by the incomparable Tom Krieglstein and have enjoyed following along with the story. It is basically the journey of a guy (Alex Blumberg) following his heart, starting a business (podcast network in this case) and his trials and tribulations. He is authentic and reflective throughout the whole process. He makes some mistakes, fumbles a bit, but eventually reaches his goal. It is a great look into how a startup might come to be today, and has some great tips for those interested in doing the same. Even if you're not thinking about starting a business, the story is still entertaining to listen to, so I definitely encourage you to check it out.

Invisibilia from NPR

This is a relatively newer show compared to the others on this list. As the name might suggest, the show examines the invisible forces that influence our lives. While there have been only two formal episodes, you can find a guest episode on This American Life and the two episodes that have been released are fascinating. The premiere episodes was on thoughts, their power, and the history of our understanding of them. The most recent episode is about fear. I'm really intrigued to see where the show goes from here!

Nerdette Podcast

I'm not sure how I originally stumbled across this show, but I'm glad I did. It's a NPR podcast out of Chicago that is a short snippet of interviews, nerdy Q&As, and their signature segment, nerd confessions from their audience. The confessions range from the humorous to the deeply emotional and are amazing since their listeners feel comfortable enough to share them out with the world on their show. If your into smart, nerdy things and good conversations, check this show out. It's light, engaging, and perfect for a listen on your commute or during your lunch break.

Honorable Mentions: Serial (obviously), Nerdist, How Did This Get Made?, School of Greatness, Smart People, This American Life, Freakonomics, Invisible Office Hours, Reply All

A Geek's Guide to Being a Man

"As a geek, I've often felt like less of a man because I'm not a brash, cocky, man of action."

I tend to not get a long with guys my age. Whether it is not being super into sports, not being very big, or tending to be a bit more soft spoken, I'm not what most people would think of as "masculine". Nevertheless, I think what it means to be a man today is far more complex and nuanced than what most people make it out to be. I've been reading a lot of the amazing articles on The Good Men Project, watching the informative videos from Real Men Real Style, as well as becoming versed in the social justice education granted to me by being engaged in the student affairs realm. All of this amounts to this humble geek having a better understanding of what it means to be a man today, and here are some general tips on how to get there.

Style

So, a piece of what I mentioned before about being a man has to do with how you present yourself in terms of your dress and your style. I see a lot of young men who don't have any sense of style, which I define as the timeless rules of men's clothing. They wear gym shorts and old sneakers most of the time. Real Men Real Style has a plethora of advice on this topic, with videos on everything from ties and scarves to shoes and socks. I'll let them detail the specifics, but there is nothing to be ashamed of with men dressing well. If you want to be successful and taken seriously, you need to know how to present yourself. I've come a long way here myself and I really feel that my impression on people is always positive since I dress well and make sure to do my best in this regard no matter the occasion. It is a big step for being a mature man to move past the clothes and style you've had since you were a teenager.

Wellness

Being a humble, insecure geek, I've struggled with some bouts of depressive feelings since I felt like I wasn't connecting with people in the ways I wanted to. I felt left out, lonely, and unwanted. I also didn't take care of myself by eating well or working out. In the past several years, I've started to take care of my body and my mind by being conscious of what I eat, drink, sleeping more, being as active as I can, and most importantly, being an advocate for my own mental wellness. Most men would probably just try to grit their teeth and suppress their emotions. I've had an emotional awakening as I work to explore my feelings and embrace them rather than ignore them. Men need to accept this human part of themselves. They need to be well mentally and physically to be the best parents, partners, and people they can be. They need to be emotionally available, stable, and considerate. In this way, they'll be able to act in a more empathetic way towards other people.

Attitude

My partner has been showing me a fair share of feminist literature. I'm intrigued to explore more, but on this point, it is important (especially for me as a cisgendered, heterosexual, white male) for men to acknowledge their privilege, when they have it, and use it to be a powerful ally to those in need. Men need to change their entitled, privileged attitudes and be a part of the solution, not the problem. Men need to be intellectually curious, open-minded, and patient. As a geek, I've often felt like less of a man because I'm not a brash, cocky, man of action. I'm a humble, considerate, man of thought. While I'm not trying to make those who are unlike me out to be bad, I do think that we need more of a balance in the world, where we all don't feel like we have to be something we're not. There should be fair opportunity for everyone to be whoever they want to be. This could mean how they dress, where they work, where they live (and who they live with), and who they love.

The picture above is of David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor (my personal favorite Doctor). He is a fine role model for men I'd say. He balances the different parts of himself well. He's emotional, decisive, kind, considerate, and abhors violence. He solves problems in a thoughtful way that doesn't hurt anyone. However, if someone hurts people he cares about, is acting selfishly, or simply behaving in an evil, senseless fashion, he responds with a just anger (and rocks a fine suit the whole time). Most men could learn a few things from this Time Lord. 

Thanks for stopping by!

My Journey Towards "Zen Status"

"The quieter you become, the more that you can hear."

I often joke with my friends and colleagues about my continuing quest towards "zen status", which I roughly define as an effort on my part to become more at peace with and putting good energy out into the world. It combines my fondness of positive psychology, my strong belief in karma, as well as my respect for mindfulness and being present in my life. This has been a long journey and I know I have a long way to go to more fully embody all of these aspects of what I envision for myself.

There are some basics habits or tenants that I'd like to share with you all as a way to help myself conceptualize things but also as a way to hopefully help others become more "zen" themselves. Life can move at a breakneck pace and it can be stressful, tiresome, and depressing. Some of this is stuff we can control or at the very least we can control our reaction to it. I strive to do my best to go with the flow and keep an optimistic attitude, and these habits go a long way in doing that.

Physical

A big part of being able to accomplish some of the other habits I'll talk about is taking care of your body by getting enough sleep and putting goodness into your body. This enables us to start our day well and go through each day with natural energy rather than curb our negative feelings or sleepiness with harsh chemicals. I do my best to abide by a sleep schedule each day (even on weekends) which allows for me to get a solid eight hours of rest each night. I also minimize alcohol, coffee, artificial foods, I don't smoke, and I work out as often as I can. Even thought I'm young, it is important to take care of ourselves and take charge of our habits. It is empowering and allows for good energy to flow more freely within us.

Mental

Our mind can be a powerful influence on us. Our bad habits can get in our way without us even realizing it, and we have more control over ourselves and our responses to life than we give ourselves credit for. A big piece of my zen quest is my continuing calm I try to keep in all aspects of my life. I get agitated, depressed, and frustrated, but I try to keep a level head when I need to make decisions and when I interact with people. Deep breaths definitely help, and I just work hard to challenge any notions I have about things. I believe people are innately good and just make bad choices. If I get frustrated with what people do, I find out what may have made them do it that, and it helps to put things in context.

Emotional

Humans are emotion. Whether we are aware of it or not, we compel ourselves to do things because of ego, jealousy, pride, love, loneliness, envy, and/or anger. On my quest for zen status, I seek to embrace emotion, and embody the positive ones as I go through life. I connect with the universal humanity we all share, I empathize with grief, I laugh, I love, and I cry when something is beautifully emotional or I just need to let the pressure off and I've been strong for too long. We can't be afraid of our feelings or push them down, it ends up hurting us in the long run. Being open and free with what we feel allows for emotions to become a part of us, rather than something that controls us or ravages us. Zen status is an emotional peace and understanding.

These are just a few simple, general things I've been doing on my quest for "zen status". It is ongoing and will most likely take most of my life to get to a true harmony with all things, but it has helped me tremendously through some recent stressful times in my life. It is also just a stream of consciousness that may not make a lot of sense. I did my best to capture what I feel, and hopefully it connects with some folks out there.

Quieting your mind, listening to yourself, and seeing the flow of the universe and how it all fits together allows us to rise above the mundane noise of life. We then can be genuinely open to others and ourselves and be truly happy.

Thanks for stopping by!

Streaming Media & The Democratization of Content

I consume my fair share of streaming content. Between Hulu, Netflix, Amazon, Pandora, Songza, Spotify, and YouTube, I get a lot of my entertainment this way and rely on it every day. It's the way of the future with new original content coming out on some of these services as well as them being an important tool for discovering different content that would otherwise go unnoticed. This is why I'm a big supporter of these platforms. They democratize the consumption of content, allowing for more people to enjoy more awesome things whenever they want and however they want. I see that as a pretty positive thing. Unfortunately there are some critics out there and especially with death knells like net neutrality lingering out there which threaten the thriving ecosystem of the Internet, I feel now is as good a time as ever to reinforce the positives of streaming media services.

Access

As I mentioned before, people are now able to enjoy whatever they want, whenever they want. This could mean that I can watch news on the train, silly videos in bed, or listen to podcasts when I work out. This empowers people to be more informed, relaxed, and makes things like commutes or long drives more enjoyable and bearable. I don't see anything wrong with that! Obviously we all can't binge Netflix all the time, but we now can consume quick bits wherever we are so that we stay connected to what is important to us.

Variety

With the wide open access of content available currently, it is amazing the incredible diversity of content that is out there. Small, independent music, television, and podcasts can reach a wide audience or even just simply connect with their niche of fans. Whatever the topic or genre of content, there is sure to be an audience for it and there isn't an establishment saying that it doesn't track well with the mainstream. We can all be our weird, fun, uniquely authentic selves and it's okay!

Community

A big part of this that I enjoy is the community I see online around YouTube channels, Spotify playlists, or even niche television shows (like Community, House of Cards, Sleepy Hollow, Orange is the New Black, Arrow/The Flash, or even Scandal) where every piece of new content is an event and is talked about, shared, and remixed, mashed up, or fan art is created inspired by it. It's great to see passionate people come together to connect over their mutual love of something. It can be huge for a lot of us lonely geeks and nerds out there who may feel like we are alone in enjoying whatever we're into. It's important to find others to geek out with!

Streaming media services are here to say, regardless of what people like Taylor Swift say or hopefully whatever comes of the net neutrality decision. Support your favorite independent content, share awesome stuff you find with friends, and keep streaming my friends!

Thanks for stopping by!

Book Review: Contagious Optimism

"My mind can be my friend or foe and that I either command it or it entraps me."

I was turned onto Contagious Optimism because of the involvement of one of my professors in my graduate program, Dr. Colleen Georges. She taught the counseling course in our student affairs master's program, and I also had the pleasure of taking a positive psychology course with her as well. I can see a lot of her amazing insights from the class in this book.

The book is organized around very broad topics such as work, love, and family among others. Then it gives a multitude of short stories from various authors within that topic. This provides a quick, engaging, relevant reading experience that drives the main points of the book home with the different vignettes. I found myself highlighting powerful quotes all over this book. It's a great inspiring read for anyone. I found the marriage and family portions to be less relevant to me but I know they would be useful for others.

This is also a very accessible entry point to positive psychology for anyone who is interested. It doesn't get too deep with any of the ideas or concepts, and if you're intrigued to learn more, you can opt to look for others works by the authors included in this book or do some research of your own.

I love positivity for the simple fact that is an empowering mindset to buy into. It encourages you to take charge of your own happiness and wellness, rather than wait for it to happen to you. This book shows you the how and the why behind optimism and positivity, so I highly recommend it.

Go check out Contagious Optimism and let me know what you think. You can get it from any of your favorite book retailers in whichever format you wish!

Thanks for stopping by!

Our Sustainable Waste Impact, By the Numbers

It can seem like a daunting tasks making any greater impact with our daily sustainable habits, but this infographic I found puts things in a pretty positive context. While we're not where we need to be by a long shot, we've done a lot in the past several years to make a good impact. With everyone doing their part to make their habits more green, we can get to a better future when it comes to energy, waste, and maintaining harmony with nature. This particular resource focuses mostly on trash, recycling, and re-purposing. I hope to continue highlight how what we do makes a positive difference in the world. It's incremental and aggregate, but I know we all can make an impact if we work together.

See the rest of the awesome infographic here.

What I Love About Sci-Fi

"It can be as entertaining as other movies but transcends to another level where you have to watch it again or talk about it endlessly to process what you saw."

Science fiction (particularly in the medium of movies and television) has always been of interest to me. The genre provides unique storytelling opportunities for any number of topics. Such popular entries in the genre as The Twilight Zone, Star Trek, Firefly, Robocop, Inception, Terminator, Doctor Who, Alien, and any number of superhero or even zombie stories showcase glimpses of the future (or near future) from the times of which they were made or at the very least inquire into intriguing "what if" scenarios that explore our humanity, be they dystopic or utopic.

I'm always excited to see good, new sci-fi. Films such as Her have kept up with the modern realizations of past sci-fi. I always seek stuff out and appreciate when it is recommended to me. I've even been working to see some classic films such as 2001: A Space Odyssey and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. They have something relevant to say, either within their own story, or from how and when they were made.

I find sci-fi to be the most rich genre to examine. Horror movies have never been my forte, and they seem rather straightforward. The same goes for action movies. Both are entertaining for sure, but sci-fi has something more beyond simple thrills or chills. It brings forth issues of social justice without dealing with it straight on. For example, in Star Trek, the Federation's relationship with Klingons is indicative of race issues during the time it was made or the fact of their vision of the future with humans of every creed working on the bridge of the Enterprise. Casting for a show like that makes a simple statement about where we should be heading as a society. Our interactions with aliens moreover in all sci-fi is an engaging allegory for the ways we deal with difference in our culture. Seeing different alien races as barbarians or odd simply for the fact they live differently or look different from us.

There is also the always fascinating examination of man and machine in sci-fi. In something like the Terminator series, we're literally fighting machines and fearing their eventual takeover of society. In Her, it explores how machines may teach us how to be more human.

In all of these movies, there are unique combinations of genres such a sci-fi horror, sci-fi romantic comedy, or sci-fi action that creating entertaining and thought provoking results. This is what I love about science fiction. It can be as entertaining as other movies but transcends to another level where you have to watch it again or talk about it endlessly to process what you saw.

What are some of your favorite sci-fi films? What you do enjoy about them? Let me know in the comments or tweet at me!

Thanks for stopping by!