My Trouble with Transitions

I have a confession to make; I struggle with transitions.

The sort of large, seismic changes in the status quo of my life. Unfortunately, this has happened several times in the past few years, between graduate school in New Jersey, my first professional job in Maine, and now my current gig outside of Washington, DC. I've had to move all my belongings, get used to a new area, find my spots for the usual stuff (groceries, haircuts, doctors, etc.), try to make new friends, and get used to a new job all at once. It's really hard for me, and I only recently became aware that this is something that really affects my mental health.

The first step to any solution is awareness, so I'm grateful to have figured this out about myself. I can work to do better as time goes on. Nevertheless, it was hard for me at the time for all the reasons I mentioned before, and I also just felt like I should be able to handle it better. I was hard on myself and put pressure on myself to do better and not struggle with it since other people seemingly were able to do it.

There are fallacies interlaid all over the place here. We often only see people highlight reels and never see and hear the full stories. Also, what is hard for one person may not be for another, so we can't get into this pissing contest or comparison with others about what we were able to handle and what we weren't. If something is hard for you, that is your own journey and it is a fair and valid issue to be going through. Also, don't feel like you have to go through it alone. Tell your manager, tell your friends, tell your family even if some of them aren't nearby anymore. Call them, text them, email them, whatever you see fit to make sure you're able to just vent, or perhaps ask for advice.

Change is hard, especially when it is of the large, life altering variety. If we equip ourselves to know what support we need and try to mitigate the impact on our lives, that is as much as we can do. I know for me, it takes a few months to get to a sense of "normalcy". I've been here in the DC area just about a year and I'm still finding my way around and discovering new things. Give yourself a break, and do your best. It will get better (and if it doesn't figure out what you can to not subject yourself to whatever is making you unhappy).

Thanks for stopping by!

Book Review: The Year Without Pants - Wordpress and the Future of Work

This 2013 book by Scott Berkun explores his journey into the unique workplace culture behind WordPress, which powers a huge amount of the blogs and sites on the internet. Coming from his previous experience at Microsoft, Berkun comes in with an outsider's perspective on how a bunch of people all over the world can work together remotely to help power twenty percent of the web (comes out to be millions of websites).

To put it simply, I really enjoyed this book. It has some great insights into what makes teams and companies work. Everything from workflow, culture, to relationships is covered here through stories and a sort of journal of Berkun's year at WordPress. I highlighted so many things from this book. While Berkun is certainly relative about why the workplace culture behind Wordpress works and its limitations, he has a lot of great general thoughts about management, teamwork, and getting things done. These can be taken by anyone to help them do better with whatever they do. Not every company can have everyone work remotely, not every company can simply mash together their business with how WordPress works, but there are plenty of solid insights here.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

"Trust is expensive to build and easy to destroy, which is why it's rare."

"The fundamental mistake companies that talk about innovation make is keeping barriers to entry high. They make it hard to even try out ideas, blind to how much experimentation you need to sort the good ideas from the bad."

"This is the advice paradox: no matter how much advice you have, you must still decide intuitively what to use and what to avoid. Just as there is an advice paradox, there is a data paradox: no matter how much data you have, you still depend on your intuition for deciding how to interpret and then apply the data."

"Your model of the universe can be a perfect model of the past, but the past is not a reliable predictor of the future because there is no such thing."

"The culture in any organization is shaped every day by the behavior of the most powerful person in the room."

"It's a great bullshit test of any boss who says, 'X is important.' If she doesn't match that statement with resources, she's incompetent, insincere, or both. If it's important, prove it."

Also, I will accept the irony that I writing this review about a guy working at WordPress on my SquareSpace blog (I used to use WordPress). I really enjoyed the platform and still use it on other sites I write for. I would use it again since the blogging part of it was great, but I wanted some more functionality out of the rest of my site, so I left. Nevertheless, Berkun's experience working at WordPress really captured some of my frustrations that I've had working as a full-time professional and some of the aspirations I'd have for organizations I'd be a part of.

I highly recommend you check out this book! You can find it at any of your favorite book retailers.

Thanks for stopping by!

Board Games and Self-Care

On your average night, my friends and I get together after work, homework, and all of the stressful things that come with being a Student Affairs graduate student to blow off steam by playing board games. It’s not the type of fun that you’d typically think of young twenty-somethings would have, but it’s exactly what I need to practice self-care.

I first was introduced to the whole world of cooperative board games by my good friend Maverick. He has an entire closet filled with board games—not your simple games like Monopoly, Sorry, or Boggle, but an immense variety of intricate, story driven, collaborative games that require strategy, communication, and skill. At first I played to humor him because of how excited he was to introduce his friends to his world, but the more we played, and the more people we convinced to play with us, the more I truly enjoyed the nights that we spend playing our favorite games.

Each game is different, but the premises are the same—to work together using strategy and skill in order to defeat an end mission. It’s often difficult, and uses a lot of mental power, but it’s truly energizing. The games require strategy to play, and we have to find the exact way to take the necessary steps in order to defeat the mission and avoid having negative consequences happen in the meantime. It is so satisfying to win, knowing that the decisions I might have made helped get us there. I love that these games bring my best friends together and forces us to communicate without the use of technology. I try my hardest to put my phone out of arm’s reach while I’m playing to give myself a digital break.

As Student Affairs Professionals, we spend so much of our time helping other people and extending ourselves beyond what is healthy for us. Playing games with my friends is a way for me to do something for myself that is challenging, fun, and relationship oriented. I’m so grateful that I was introduced to this world and what it’s done for my sanity this year. Board games aren’t the most typical form of fun in the digital age, but the emphasis on relationship building, critical thinking skills, and story driven narrative makes makes them something worth giving a chance.

Here are some of my current favorites:

Dead of Winter: http://www.plaidhatgames.com/games/dead-of-winter

            This game is set in a post-apocalyptic, zombie infested universe. Players work together to complete the end mission (and their own secret mission) before the rounds are over and before morale gets to zero. Each player controls a group of survivors, each with their own special ability. The survivors can go to different locations to search for items or kill zombies, and must work to solve the round specific crisis while working towards this end mission. This is our all time favorite game, and although I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve played it, each time playing through is completely different.

Mysterium: http://www.amazon.com/Asmodee-MYST01ASM-Mysterium/dp/B013TJ5P80

            Mysterium is a crowd favorite, and the best explanation I can give is that it’s like playing adult Clue. Each game has one person playing the role of the ghost, and the rest are investigators. The ghost must silently give each players cards that represent clues in order to help them find their suspect, location, and object. If players guess correctly before the round tracker is at zero, they are able to see the final clues to determine which player guessed the killer/location/object. This one is very easy to teach, and even our friends that aren’t into the intense games love this one!

Eldritch Horror: https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/eldritch-horror/

            This game is a new favorite of ours. It’s one of the more intricate and long games that I’ve played, but the story and artwork make it so worth it. Eldritch Horror is based on the novels of H.P. Lovecraft. Players control a character and travel around the world in order to kill monsters, find clues, and complete smaller missions before the doom tracker reaches zero. It’s hard, and we haven’t beaten it yet, but it’s a lot of fun. It requires a lot of strategy and thought, and because of the difficulty, I find myself wanting to play it so often just to get the chance to beat it.

PS: What are some of your favorite games?

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Hannah Torrance is a West Coast native, finishing the last year of the CSPA program at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY. She is passionate about Greek Life, Student Activities, Residence life, and facilitating meaningful college experiences. She is a lover of books, social media, Netflix, and dry humor. Check out her blog, and follow her on Twitter: @HannahETorrance

Valuing (and Maximizing) Our Time Away

* This post was originally featured on The OOHLALA Blog.

As the holiday season approaches, many of us will be taking some well-deserved time off from work, classes, and so forth. Unfortunately, this may be some of the only time we take off during the year. Which is why it’s important to use this time to its full advantage. I’ve found that adopting certain personal habits can help me to make the most of my time off.

Spread time throughout the year

Some people only take time off when it is given to them through holidays or forced upon them by others. I personally have taken the stance of giving myself long weekends and “mental health days,” throughout the year.

It helps to sprinkle time off throughout the year in order to minimize the impact of daily stress on your physical and mental well being.I always enjoy my random days off during the week even if they just help me get errands done. Giving myself this periodic time off allows me to better focus on the work I need to do during my regular hours.

When you’re away, be fully present

Unplugging fully from our work lives while we’re away is important, since any part of us that still lingers back at the office is a part that can’t fully enjoy the experience of being away. This means turning off notifications, putting our phones on “do not disturb”, and not checking our email.

I know I’m not perfect with this, but I’m trying to be better, especially whenever I leave for an extended period of time. Trust your colleagues to be able to take care of things in your absence. Also, the more work you can get done ahead of time will help you be mindful of where you are in the moment. Asking for help is also important. In return, you can help others out when they need the same from you later on.

Share the time with others

Another thing I value about having time off  is sharing this time away with others. You can maximize the emotional benefit of getting out of your routine by taking a trip with a family member, partner, or good friend and deepening those connections. It can be something you share and remember for a long time to come. It will be as fulfilling, if not more so, than if you just went on your own.

I always appreciate the opportunity to see friends that have moved across the country. It’s great to be able to share time with them after not having seen them for awhile and it’s also an opportunity to see new places which helps to broaden my horizons.

Another point here is to take pictures of your trips and time away to document the experience so you can share it with others. In the past few years I have become more sentimental about major life experiences. Having some artifacts and photos from my adventures has allowed me to share those experiences with others.You don’t need to share photos on social media at the exact time you take them, (see the previous point of unplugging), but sharing memories with friends and family allows us to reap the benefits of our journeys time and time again.

There are many benefits to taking time away from our normal routines. We can keep in touch with old friends, make new connections, experience amazing new places, and most important of all, we allow ourselves to grow and relax. This can help us to do our best work for our students and role model positive behavior for them. I hope you can take some time off soon—even if it is only a long weekend—to be present somewhere outside of your routine.

Here’s to nourishing, renewing, and growing ourselves all year long!

What I'm Geeking Out About This Week - 02/06/15

Greetings! Here's what is going on in my world.

• Bob's Burgers

I just started watching this show on Netflix (link above) after hearing a lot about it. It seems like a show that is very popular on the Internets. It is quirky, odd, silly, and a pleasure to watch. It's the perfect kind of mindlessness for me to enjoy after work. I'll consume a few episodes and then move on with my evening. I look forward to continuing to binge through this series!

• New Tech City's Bored & Brilliant

I was recommended to check out this endeavor by a good grad school friend of mine. It is an effort to help people be more mindful and detach from their various smart devices. It recommends some easy tips that you can immediately put into action so that you can let go of the hold our modern technology has on us. I've started to do some of these things and it really does help. I'm still not where I feel like I could or should be, but doing some of these things are a great place to start.

• Medium

I've seen various random blog posts hosted on Medium over the years. It has a distinct, simple interface and now that I have started to ship some of my content from here to Medium, I've seen the publishing side of things as well. It is impressive in how simple but functional it all is. It tickles the minimalist part of my brain where it only has what it needs and it does that well. Nothing more or less. If you're looking for a quick and easy way to get into the blogging game, I'd recommend starting with Medium.

Thanks for stopping by!

Book Review: Contagious Optimism

"My mind can be my friend or foe and that I either command it or it entraps me."

I was turned onto Contagious Optimism because of the involvement of one of my professors in my graduate program, Dr. Colleen Georges. She taught the counseling course in our student affairs master's program, and I also had the pleasure of taking a positive psychology course with her as well. I can see a lot of her amazing insights from the class in this book.

The book is organized around very broad topics such as work, love, and family among others. Then it gives a multitude of short stories from various authors within that topic. This provides a quick, engaging, relevant reading experience that drives the main points of the book home with the different vignettes. I found myself highlighting powerful quotes all over this book. It's a great inspiring read for anyone. I found the marriage and family portions to be less relevant to me but I know they would be useful for others.

This is also a very accessible entry point to positive psychology for anyone who is interested. It doesn't get too deep with any of the ideas or concepts, and if you're intrigued to learn more, you can opt to look for others works by the authors included in this book or do some research of your own.

I love positivity for the simple fact that is an empowering mindset to buy into. It encourages you to take charge of your own happiness and wellness, rather than wait for it to happen to you. This book shows you the how and the why behind optimism and positivity, so I highly recommend it.

Go check out Contagious Optimism and let me know what you think. You can get it from any of your favorite book retailers in whichever format you wish!

Thanks for stopping by!

The Language of Love & Leadership

I recently took this quiz at the behest of my partner. It seeks to show you, based on a series of questions, how you prefer to receive love. This can be used for romantic and platonic relationships alike and I have heard about it from both friends and work colleagues so I felt it was about time to check it out. Similar to a previous post of mine on leadership inventories like MBTI and StrengthsQuest, I found relevant connections to student affairs and leadership with this survey. Figuring out one's "love language" allows for an unique insight into how we prefer to receive praise, how we make connections with other people, and how we would prefer to achieve that precarious work/life balance, harmony, etc.

There are five love languages that you get varying point scores for (much like True Colors). The languages are physical touch, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation. After taking the survey, I found my top languages to be quality time and words of affirmation. I found this to be highly accurate for myself. I really appreciate, in all my relationships, the opportunity to spend time with the people who are important to me even if that is just hanging out. I also very much appreciate when people tell me how they feel and even more so how I make them feel. I never really ask for the words of affirmation from people but I enjoy it when I get them.

Taking this survey allowed for me to objectively see what I need to feel loved, appreciated, and valued, at work and in life. Just like the other leadership inventories, it allows for a common language of leadership that can create better teams that are heard, understood, and given what they need to succeed.

Check the quick Love Languages survey here and make sure to have coworkers and partners take it too. It's really helpful!

As always, thanks for stopping by!

What I'm Geeking Out About This Week - 07/11/14

Hey there!

Thanks for coming by! Here is what I'm geeking out about this busy week:

• Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

If you follow my blog, you know I'm excited for this movie. I've posted about it multiple times (here and here, at least). It has (as of the posting of this) a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes and the 3D is apparently amazing as well. I'm going to go see it tomorrow some time and I'll be sure to share my thoughts with you all. You should see it too so you can share in the awesomeness that will be this movie!

• Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

A friend of mine up here in Maine (hooray for making friends!) invited me out to go see the original Body Snatchers movie out on a big screen at a park in town. I haven't seen this movie in a long time and it's a great sci-fi classic that has been remade multiple times. I think this will be a fun way to watch the movie, out with other sci-fi fans, outside on a beautiful night. I'm really looking forward to it!

• Trivia

Something else I've gotten into since I got up to Maine with some of my coworkers is going to a local trivia night again. I went a ton when I was back in Delaware a few years ago and really enjoyed it. I am determined to win a night while I'm here just as I eventually did in Delaware, even if it takes me a year!

***So, a quick aside here. I'm working my full-time job now and I am going to keep hustling to keep a regular flow of content to you all. I always enjoy getting likes, comments, and feedback so any support you can give to keep me inspired as I'm figuring out a new life routine is very much appreciated. Every single one of you who comes to this site is special to me so I would love to hear from you.

All the best and thanks for stopping by,

- Dustin

What I'm Geeking Out About This Week - 03/07/14

Hello! This is a mostly video game filled geek out as I took some time in the past week to finish playing through these fine stories, some additional to the main narrative of already amazing games. Read on to discover my thoughts and praises!

• The Last of Us: Left Behind

I had heard some amazing reviews of this downloadable content after it came out so I knew I needed to jump on it to play as soon as I could. While there wasn't a whole lot to engage in as a player, the cut-scenes that I was guided through in the episode were fantastic and more than engaging enough to keep me hooked. I won't spoil anything for it but just know, if you loved the main game, you'll love this content. If you haven't played The Last of Us, after you're done reading this post, go out and play the game right now!

• Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode I

So I've been a visitor to the fine city of Rapture from the Bioshock series a few times now, but this was a very unique and fun adventure. This content takes place during the peak of Rapture's existence, rather than the unfortunate aftermath so it was cool to see the vision of Andrew Ryan realized. No spoilers here either but it is a fine addition to the compelling narrative strewn across the Bioshock universe!

• Workaholics

This may come as a longshot to some folks but I do love this show. It is some awesome smartly stupid comedy and the show's fourth season has been going strong so far. I just caught up on this season to date and I enjoyed every minute of it. Check it out if you can, you'll have a good time for sure.

Thanks for stopping by! Have an awesome weekend!

What I'm Geeking Out About This Week - 02/07/14

Good tidings to you all! Here's what I'm geeking out about this week! I wanted to highlight some other blogs I am into lately or have been into for a while now. Enjoy!

• 300 Before 30

My friend Amanda runs this blog which chronicles her journeys fulfilling a long list of 300 goals she wants to accomplish before she turns 30. I love the idea and hope to cross some things off my lifelong to-do list before I'm 30 as well such as traveling to the West Coast and dipping my feet into the Pacific. The blog is a lot of fun as she remarks about the anecdotes from her adventures and the feelings she gets from accomplishing all the goals she set out for herself. Support her in her journey and go on your own adventure!

• Life Work Balances Podcast

I was a guest on this podcast a little while back (check it out here) and it was a lot of fun to go through my story and how I seek to achieve serenity and balance amidst the chaos that is student affairs at times. The host, Conor, just hit 100 episodes recently and features interviews with professionals and graduate students from all over the country. I support his work and hope some more folks will take time to check out his podcast!

• Krista Kohlmann

So, I may be a bit biased here but Krista is my supervisor for an internship I'm doing. That being said, she is objectively an awesome human being. We share some geeky connections and also our passion for change and the social good so I feel confident in giving her a shout-out. She is rebooting her blog and could definitely use some support from interested parties. I give her my official stamp of approval and know I'll see her blog blossom as it rightfully should.

What are some of your favorite blogs/podcasts? Let me know in the comments and I'll see you here next week!