Positive Psychology, Social Media, and Student Affairs

* This post was originally featured on The OOHLALA Blog.

I recently took a course on positive psychology, (shout out to my professor, Dr. Colleen Georges!). The focus of positive psychology is on being happy. I’ve found that utilizing the principles of this psychology has helped me to be a more optimistic, empathetic, and grateful person in my daily life.

Positive psychology is great for improving one’s personal life but it’s also a useful application as a student affairs professional. Using the insights of this psychology you can provide students with support and help them succeed in their endeavors.

This psychology is apt for in-person interactions, however as many students spend most of their time online I’m going to talk about how to use positive psychology when engaging with students through social media.

3 Ways to Use Positive Psychology & Social Media to Engage with Students

1. Celebrate positive moments with your students

I enjoy helping to celebrate when my students share an academic or personal success. (Such as getting an internship or membership to a fraternity or sorority). A simple “like” or retweet shows that you’ve taken notice of that student’s post. It makes them feel valued and creates positive feelings.

Pay particular attention to anything related to their college experience. This helps support the value of what they’re choosing to get involved in.This can also be applied to small, simple moments your students share about the good things that happen in their day. The impact of showing that you see, hear, and celebrate the joy of your students is a great way to help spread positivity throughout your campus.

2. Share affirmative messages and quotes

Another simple way to spread positivity throughout your campus is to share brief notes with your students. If you know they have an interview or test coming up, send a quick digital message to wish them luck. You can also share quotes to help motivate and inspire your students. When students are busy and stressed with exams and finals, provide support by sharing helpful videos, articles, or photos to keep students energized.

3. Be helpful everywhere you can

A great way to spread some good energy online is to listen and be helpful to students who have questions or concerns. You’ll surprise and delight your students when you jump in with some advice or resources to solve their problems. They’re often hoping for an solution to their problem but aren’t expecting it since a lot of the time no one responds.

As a student affairs professional, you have the knowledge to get your students help. We do it all the time in person when students stop by our offices. Use that same mindset on social media and your students  will feel supported. Even if they don’t need you all the time,they’ll know an answer is only a post away.

If you commit to this digital effort, it will supplement your other work by spreading positive energy and support for your students. Employing positive psychology principles on social media is a direct connection to the work we do in person with students. We want them to feel valued, supported, and celebrated. This is just another way we can do that for our students every day.

Thanks for stopping by!

Ways to Engage Your Students in Giving Thanks

*This post was originally featured on The Student Affairs Hub.

As we approach the season of giving, I thought it would be relevant and important to talk about the value of gratitude for ourselves and our students. We often take for granted that the people we care about and owe our success to, know how much we appreciate them. So many things go unspoken and feelings remain unknown because we assume people can read our minds and know how we feel.

Obviously, people can't know what we don't tell them. Students especially, owe a lot of people for getting them to where they are today. It can be a transformative educational experience to help convey the importance of gratitude as well as give opportunities to our students to put this value into action.

Here are some ideas to help implement this concept:

Organize a Scholarship "Gratitude Gala"

I've seen several campuses put on events like this, (I've even partaken myself as a student way back when). Essentially, you just set up an opportunity to have students hand write notes to the specific people who helped fund their scholarships to be able to go to your institution.

You can make it into a fun party atmosphere with refreshments and it's just a simple but powerful gesture for students to know that their scholarship came from another human being and they can share their gratitude with them, (it also will probably help retain the support from your generous donors to get these sort of notes).

You can even take this one step further and have the donors come and meet the students personally to engage on a deeper level. Investing in a program like this is valuable to everyone involved and is a quick way to spread a lot of positive energy to your community.

Send a Long Overdue Thank You Note

I took a Positive Psychology course during my graduate program, (with the super awesome Dr. Colleen Georges), and one of the assignments was to write a message to someone who you want to thank for having a big influence on your life that you've never told. It could be from years ago but it was just important to do it, and tell them about the impact that they've had on you.

A TEDx talk from Drew Dudley really captures this point well. His short but poignant speech in that video is an old favorite of mine that I share with students often.

Reflect on Accomplishments

Something that I did this year was think back on all of the things that I have done in my life. It was a really powerful exercise that really allowed me to feel like even if I was gone tomorrow, I have made a positive impact on the places I've been and the people I've had the pleasure of knowing. It also inspired me to want to think of more things I want to do before I turn 30 in a couple of years.

Looking back though, it really conveyed to me how grateful I should be for the life that I have been privileged to have. I'm typically pretty humble about anything that I do, so I had to allow myself to be a little proud of what I've done. Even so, my life hasn't always been easy, but I am thankful for everything that has happened, (or hasn't happened), to me to get my life to the point it is at now. I wouldn't have had this powerful epiphany unless I put intentional thought and energy into it. It's really valuable to encourage your students to think this way, especially if they're not feeling terribly confident in themselves or what they've accomplished. Acknowledging and being grateful for things that come to you in your life creates a foundation of positive energy for you and your students when you put thought and effort into it.

A quick email, a short hand written note, or a quiet reflection can positively influence your mind, wellness, and point of view. With the holiday season approaching, do yourself and your students the favor of giving the gift of thanks. You and everyone around you will benefit from it.

Thanks for stopping by!

Movie Review Monday: Welcome to Me

Welcome to another edition of Movie Review Monday!

This week's film is Welcome to Me, starring Kristen Wiig alongside a splendid ensemble cast.

The plot of this movie surrounds Kristen Wiig's character, Alice Klieg, who wins the lottery and then creates a daytime talk show centered around her and whatever she feels like doing or talking about. She is obsessed with Oprah Winfrey, and has been off her mental health medication so the results are odd, goofy, surreal, and absurd, but very entertaining to watch in a strange sort of way.

Seeing what Alice decides to do with her newfound show is awkwardly cringeworthy, but fascinating to watch. If someone (a little off-centered) with millions of dollars had their own talk show all about them for hours a day to do whatever they want, I feel like the product would be very similar to what we see in the film. It's funny to see the reactions of the television production team, who have no choice but to indulge the eccentric desires of Alice since she is paying them millions of dollars. Her family and friends also have reactions to her antics, but try to be supportive of her new endeavor. This is where the film gets a little deeper.

As Alice goes all in on this vanity project, she becomes egotistical and distanced from the people she cares about most. It's nice to see the film sort of ground itself like this, since it could have just been about the silliness of Alice's show and not much else, but the conflict arises in a natural way that allows the film to move forward to a conclusion.

This is an odd film, but a good one. Kristen Wiig is great in it (as she always is) and the supporting cast is wonderful as well. I definitely recommend checking it out.

You can catch Welcome to Me, streaming right now on Netflix!

Thanks for stopping by!

Book Review: The Niche Movement

This past weekend I finished reading my digital copy of the new book from Kevin O'Connell, The Niche Movement: The New Rules to Finding the Career You Love. I'm really excited for this book to finally be out into the world, since I've been a long supporter of Kevin's and also proudly donated to his crowdfunding campaign last year to help publish the book.

Simply stated, this book is great. It excellently captures the frustrations many (myself included) feel with the status quo of job searching and workplace culture and gives some fantastic insights as to how to control your own destiny and do work that is fulfilling, whatever that may mean for you. Kevin weaves his career advice with unique stories of people from all over the country working in all sorts of fields that help send home and support his points. To top it off, he sets you up for success by giving out contact info for everyone mentioned in the book, so if you want to keep the discussion going with someone who really intrigued you, you have the means to do so and are even encouraged to reach out.

While I supported the effort to get this book published, I had no creative input in the production of it, but I trusted Kevin to create a superb product and he delivered tremendously, and that is my objective opinion. Many of the points he mentions I've heard before, which only further provides credibility to his work here. It has helped inspire and motivate me to get some things ramped up for my life, and I know it will do the same for you.

Check out The Niche Movement site for more awesome stuff, and reach out to Kevin to connect about the book. He's a pretty cool dude!

Thanks for stopping by!

Summer Movie Musings: Inside Out

I had the pleasure of finally seeing Inside Out in theaters this past week. It's been one I knew I wanted to see for a while now, even before it's release and positive buzz. The concept really intrigued me from the first teaser I saw and I was definitely not disappointed by the final product. It is a unique, fun, cute, and insightful film about emotions and growing up, which is something that is universally poignant.

The premise of movie follows a young girl, Riley, as she moves to San Francisco from her beloved Midwest home with her parents, and the struggles that come with that transition. We see the emotions play out inside her head throughout the story, which is obviously where a lot of the fun and heart comes from. The movie does a really good job setting up how the concept works with the different major emotions; anger, fear, joy, disgust, and sadness (as seen above from left to right). We see how memories are made, stored, and forgotten within the film's setup, which is very entertaining yet also very in depth and spot on. I'm not an expert on emotions and what not, but from what I understand (and have heard elsewhere) Inside Out takes the premise seriously and gets a lot of the science right.

While the movie is not as laugh out loud funny or heart-wrenching (at least for me) as some of the other Pixar movies, I appreciate it for its originality and insight. We could use a bit more empathy in our lives and this movie has a great message about that as well as how to process our own feelings and how to help others process theirs. A great moment in the movie showcases how sometimes we just need to feel our sadness and not just pretend it doesn't exist.

I definitely recommend seeing Inside Out if you get the chance before it is out of theaters. If not, it would absolutely be worth a rental. I'd also love to hear your thoughts if you saw it!

Thanks for stopping by!

Reflecting On All the Things I've Done

I have felt at some points in my life that I have had a tragically mundane, ordinary life that hasn't had much good or bad happen in it. It was a depressing thought to consider, especially in my darker moments, but recently, I've taken time to sit down and put my mental energy to work writing down all my "greatest hits" (just like with Charlie Pace in one my favorite television shows of all time, Lost). Moments in my life, big or small, that I'm proud of. They include the places I've traveled, the accomplishments I've achieved, and the small things we should all think of more. Here are some specific examples of what I'm talking about:

• Smiled so much my face hurt
• Presented at a national conference
• Visited Las Vegas, Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington, DC
• Gone to a comedy club
• Gave good lives to my pets

Some of these things are concrete experiences in my life that I am happy to have done. Even if they aren't that special to others, they're special to me. Others are things I look back and affirm for myself. People can have regrets, doubts, and think negatively about the experiences in their life, but I challenge myself to think positively. I can never know for certain if I gave a good life for my pets, they can't tell me, but I choose to believe that I did based on the memories I have and the things I did for my two wonderful dogs I had growing up.

I'm keeping a list of experiences I want to partake in before I turn 30 in a few years. I'm making intentional efforts to accomplish them and keep updating my list of "greatest hits". It will help me in my darker moments realize that I have lived a full life and have the ability to take actions to make change my life.

I encourage folks to do something similar to this to keep the positivity flowing in their lives. Things like this or a happiness journal can let us be more mindful of what happens around us each day, and what brings us joy.

Thanks for stopping by!

Reflections from My First Year as a #SAPro

I've been waiting a while to write this post. I hope it is helpful to some people out there as a snapshot into my life for the past year. I feel it is important to reflect often, and I've had a lot of feelings about my work that I've wanted to share. I appreciate your thoughtful consideration and openness to what I'm about to share.

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I started working at my institution on July 1 of last year. I just finished my first full academic year as a full-time professional at a small, private university, which is unlike any other place I've been at, in a state (albeit where I was born and have visited many times) where I have never lived, away from any friends I know and was mostly left to my own devices to find my own path. It's been a weird, wild journey, and I've learned a lot from the experience. While there have been some things that I wish I had known before I started working and living here, I'm grateful for where my path has lead me.

To put my year in context, we started out without a permanent central office for our department and also without a dedicated director to supervise us. We never got any of these things resolved during the academic year (still haven't), so we made it work without them for the entire time. This was unfortunate and frustrating but we still did our work to support our students as best we could. I can understand that there are several different variables beyond me that played into this situation becoming reality, but it still felt like we weren't valued enough to be a priority. There still are no discussions now about how the search for a possible supervisor is going to occur. We have an interim supervisor still overseeing us but they can't focus on us in the same way a dedicated departmental director could.

The culture here is also very relaxed, almost too much for my tastes. I like that about it but there seems to be a lack of urgency to get things done quickly or to go beyond the bare minimum. Communication is lacking, the infrastructure and procedures for our work feel out of date, and resources are very limited. Students enroll and withdraw from their coursework and the residence halls consistently, making things even more difficult (higher education in Maine is struggling with this). The Student Life team is tiny here and seems to be low on the totem pole of institutional support. While we aren't a required part of the student experience (they are coming there for their degree after all) we are increasingly what makes it meaningful and memorable for our students.

Even with all of this, I'm mostly glad that I'm here. I shared some thoughts relevant to this before, and especially after my job search, which was emotionally difficult for me, I am happy that I found full-time employment in my field very soon after graduation. The pay is fair, the benefits are good, and I am not stressed out by my job (unless I get into a negative mindset and get frustrated about all the quirks). I know I'm learning a lot and I've been given some great opportunities here to help with New Student Orientation very closely as well as sit on numerous search committees hiring full-time colleagues.

I write all of this to try to give a candid picture of my experience. I've had students cry in my office, parents and students genuinely thank me for helping them, I've had late nights, early mornings, long days, and programs not succeed how I wanted them to. I didn't get to do all that I hoped for in my first year, and a lot happened that I couldn't expect, good and bad. All I can say is that life is funny that way sometimes, and I encourage folks to always make sure you are very thoughtful in your decision-making. If I had ended up somewhere else, far from my partner, that was like where I am now, I probably be in a much worse emotional state. Since I have her and my family close by, I'm much better off.

I hope this didn't come off as airing dirty laundry. I don't intend it to seem that way. I didn't know what I didn't know about what was to come here. Some of it I couldn't possibly know. I just have had an experience here that isn't what I want for myself going forward. I don't seek to make any definitive qualitative statements about my institution. I just know it isn't for me. That's been a very helpful point of growth for me to learn that. I'm sharing my truth and I hope some others can perhaps normalize what I've gone through, since I don't have much to compare my experience to, and perhaps give advice.

Thank you for taking time to read. I appreciate any and all comments.

Geeking Out: “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”

I have a problem. I’m borderline obsessed with the new Netflix series, “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.” I am on my third round of watching the series and I am unapologetic. This has been incredibly easy to do since there are only 13, 30-minute episodes and the writing is so fast, and so funny, that it is easy to lose yourself in the series. Throw in the incredible Ellie Kemper in the lead role as Kimmy, amazing supporting characters, and the series being the brainchild of Tina Fey, and I was hooked.

There is so much to geek out about this little gem of a series. The pop culture references, the hilarious turn of Jon Hamm in the most unexpected of roles, Tina Fey doing a spot on impression of Marcia Clark (one of the lead attorneys from the OJ Simpson trial, for all of those people not of age in the 90s), plus Kimmy’s roommate Titus Andromedon being one of the most entertaining characters in recent history, the series makes for pure fun. The premise of the show puts Kimmy as one of four women who were locked in an underground bunker as part of a doomsday cult since 1990. We meet Kimmy and the other women as they are rescued from the bunker and attempt to start their lives after being without TV, internet, phone, magazines, or music from 1990-2015. As you can imagine, hilarity ensues with the “Indiana Mole Women.”

Kimmy moves to New York City to start her life again. She is 30 years old, has missed everything from the past 15 years, and has to unlearn so many things about how the world works, but her positivity never wanes. Kimmy has a lot to be angry, resentful, and depressed about after being locked away for 15 years. She missed the Clinton era, Hurricane Katrina, *NSYNC, purple ketchup, and more. She thinks her boss’ MacBook was a giant iPhone, calls hashtags “hashbrowns,” and is thrilled that her closet of a room has a window.

If you haven’t seen the series, all you may know about the show is the catchy as hell theme song that [fair warning!] will be stuck in your head for weeks. While the jokes are funny and storylines are ridiculous, the best part of the series for me is Kimmy’s unbreakable spirit. She is positive, in the face of horrific circumstances, and that is what makes her simultaneously relatable and aspirational.

I have found my professional home in student affairs, particularly within residence life. There are lots of things that I love about my work, but there are so many things that are hard, jarring, depressing, and life-altering about the work of supporting students. On a typical day, we deal with physical altercations, or students who come to our campuses with severe psychological issues that only intensify once the added stress of classes and independent living descends. Students come to us experiencing gender-based violence, extreme financial stress, unrealistic family expectations, citizenship challenges, food and housing insecurity, and varying levels of parental involvement, ranging from suffocating to non-existent. And, on our worst days, we comfort families and friends in their shock and grief when members of our communities pass away.

Meeting students in some of their hardest moments takes a toll. It can be hard to find anything positive in a hard day, and yet, very much like Kimmy, student affairs has the opportunity to be unbreakable. It seems like every day there is another expose, talking head, or article pointing to the demise of higher education. Where the hell are we supposed to start? The ballooning student debt crisis? The rampant racism running throughout campuses? Gender-based violence finally seeing the light of day? Those in the academy who blame student affairs administration for the financial bloat which is contributing to these problems? It’s overwhelming.

And yet, I find myself enjoying my work. Having fun, laughing, taking moments to appreciate the moments of change and challenge. Does this make me a Pollyanna? An ostrich with her head in the sand? Hopelessly naive? Or does this make me like Kimmy, albeit it on a smaller scale? Could it actually be possible to hold both of those concepts simultaneously, that awful things happen on our campuses every single day, but we still have the choice, and perhaps the responsibility to approach our work with a positive attitude?

In one of my favorite episodes, Kimmy stands in her truth, fully aware of her traumatic history, in the middle of Times Square, and says to her roommate, “Life beats you up. You can either curl up in a ball and die or you can stand up and say, ‘We’re different and you can’t break us.’” Student affairs, take a lesson from this Indiana Mole Women: Let’s be unbreakable.

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Marci Walton is a student affairs professional interested in residence life, social justice, service, and the intersectionality of identity. Passionately curious about social media, women’s leadership and finding the perfect spot to admire the Pacific. Current Californian, but a Buckeye through and through. Connect with her on Twitter and at her blog.

Figuring Out What is Truly Important

* This posted was originally featured on The Student Affairs Collective.

My decision to move to Maine last year to continue being close to my partner was a simple one, but it has had major implications for our lives together. 

I've talked about my job search story before, so I won't go to much into that part of my journey. The choice to move up to my home state and be close to my partner was an intentional one on my part. I picked up and moved (after having also moved a short distance for graduate school just two years before) leaving behind a lot of things I enjoyed about being in the Mid-Atlantic region. Delaware was where I grew up and could envision my self settling down in the future. Nevertheless, I couldn't see myself being happy being far away from my partner (someone I see myself spending the rest of my life with). I wanted to be able to help her feel supported in a stressful time in her life as she began graduate school. It was also a nice chance to live in my home state for the first time (I've visited often but never lived here) and be closer to my extended family than I've ever been before.

My decision making during my own anxiety ridden job search felt easier when I gave serious thought to what I truly wanted and what was important to me. My relationship trumped all other things since even if everything else was going wrong, I'd have my partner to support me and spend time with. While there are times we both wish we were back in New Jersey, we're glad to be here in Maine together exploring a new area and meeting new people. We've been able to spend a lot quality time together and become closer than ever before. Our relationship would have been strained if we ended up hours apart and I'm very grateful to have the opportunity to support her and continued to strengthen our bond.

As we all move forward in our lives and careers, I encourage you all to give mindful consideration to what you really want. Family, region, significant others, functional area, or any other reasons are all valid as long as they're your own reasons, not someone else's or what you think you're "supposed" to be doing. Do what you want and do whatever is best for you. I did, and I would never have chosen differently.

Movie Review Monday: Groundhog Day

Welcome to another awesome edition of Movie Review Monday!

This week's movie is the 1993 classic, Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray and written and directed by the late, great Harold Ramis.

I had seen and heard a lot about this movie over the years but I have never sat down and watched the movie in its entirety. I'm glad I could enjoy it finally, as it is a simple movie with a simple message that I think we can all appreciate.

The premise is simple its implementation. We don't get any reason why but nevertheless, Bill Murray's character, Phil, is forced to relive the same day over and over again, which creates a cavalcade of humorous scenarios that he plays out since he'll just wake up with no ramifications. The movie hinges on Murray, and he masterfully carries the film. The premise of reliving the same day over and over again also acknowledges the dark side of this, as Phil continually tries to kill himself to end the perpetual nightmare.

The movie succeeds near the end as Phil begins to do the most good he can for others in a single day. Only when he maximizes the experience for others rather than himself, does the cycle end. Phil begins the movie as a disillusioned, egotistical, and rude character, but ends it as someone who is changed for the better. The moral of the whole story being to encourage us as the viewer to live each day to the fullest and do good for others.

While the premise has become common fodder for storytelling nowadays, this film popularized the concept and is constantly referred to as a benchmark. It earns its place as a classic comedy that will surely stand the test of time.

You can check out Groundhog Day streaming right now on Netflix.

Thanks for stopping by!