Five Things I Learned From My Mom

In honor of Mother's Day, I thought I would write about my own mother, who I owe so much of who I am today and my success to. I don't write about her often (or at all really) but that just was probably because I didn't know how. Now, with this special day as an appropriate context, let me tell you a little bit about her.

Humility

I am humble, almost to a fault sometimes. But I would rather be someone who lets his work speak for him than someone who is just the loudest person in the room without much basis for their outspoken confidence. I've grown a lot with balancing confidence with humility, but I know I got my humility from my mom, who is easily flattered like me, and doesn't do anything for the attention or acclaim. She works hard and does right by her kids and family. Which leads me to my next point...

Hard Work

My mom worked hard to support me and my brother for a while after it became just the three of us. She has worked hard all of her life, getting by and allowing for her children to have food, a safe place to call home, and thrive as adults. I think a lot of success comes down to grit and perseverance. A lot of people will give up when the going gets tough or just take the easy path, so a lot of success (I will concede that there is certainly a lot more to it if you want to dig really deep) boils down to just who is left working hard each day. You have to keep going and keep the goals you have in mind to inspire you. I know I have a pretty awesome example of a hard working parent to live up to whenever I have children of my own.

Empathy

Something else I know I got from my mom is her caring spirit. She's a hugger, and a generally loving, empathetic person. I am the same way (except for the hugging, I tend to wait for someone to give me a cue they want a hug first) and I know I learned it from my mom. She loves me and my brother a lot and tells us often, so I am comfortable with expressing my feelings for others and genuinely care for people. Whether that is trying to do right by my students or wishing the best for friends, past and present, I just want people I care about to be happy. I always appreciate how open and welcoming my mom is.

Confidence

Due a lot to my mom's support, I eventually built up my confidence after growing up being a shy kid for most of my life. She has always had my back as I start my life and go in whatever direction I think is best, so I know even if things don't work out, she is there to help me. Even as adult life continues to provide me with unique new challenges, my mom helps support me through all of it, which gives me exponentially growing confidence to face the next new hurdle. I appreciate her love and support always, and I know it will continue as I keep facing new adventures in my life.

Patience

Raising two boys definitely teaches patience (I would assume). My mom was pretty patient with us, humoring us whenever we needed it and also not giving into all of our demands. We learned that sometimes good things come to those who wait. We learned that you can't get everything you want right away. We never had a lot growing up, but we had enough, and that was fine. I have always been a patient person, and I'm sure learning to wait from my mom as I grew up had a lot to do with that. It's important to not always be anticipating the next thing. We should be still, and appreciate what we have, and be willing to wait for whatever is next to come when it is supposed to.

Let your mother know that you appreciate her and how she has impacted your life!

Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

What I Learned From Living in Maine

My time living in my home state of Maine for the first time is coming to an end. I don't know if I will ever live here again, but I will certainly visit often and have appreciated being able to explore this naturally beautiful state. I've learned a few things from being here for two years, and I wanted to reflect on this time here on the blog.

My Appreciation for Craft Beer

Maine has an awesome craft beer scene. There are breweries of all sizes and styles, from Allagash, to Shipyard, Sea Dog, Black Bear, Geaghan's, Baxter's, and my personal favorite, Orono Brewing Company. This community is a fun, passionate one full of unique flavors and artistry in each beer. Going to local breweries helps support small businesses, but it also allows for connections based on a share interest with other people or it's especially great when you can talk with the people who made the beer you're enjoying. I look forward to continuing to support the breweries I love, and discovering new ones in Maryland and wherever else I go to visit.

The Value of Beautiful, Natural Spaces

Most of Maine is covered in trees, that is a fact. The state (which is larger than most people think) is sparsely populated with small towns nestled in these woods, and Maine also has a beautiful coastline. My partner and I especially enjoy the Bar Harbor area which is a popular tourist location that neighbors the very awesome Acadia National Park. There is an abundance of naturally beautiful spaces in Maine, with plenty of great trails to walk and mountains to climb. It is important to preserve areas like this for people to enjoy. It's good for communities in so many different ways (jobs, recreation, and the environment just to name a few major ones) and I look forward to finding spaces to explore in Maryland.

The Importance of Family

My mom and all of my extended family lives in Maine (my brother still lives in Delaware, where both of us grew up) so it has been nice to see my family up here more often than I ever had before. It is really great for me to be able to spend quality time with my mom as our relationship shifts into a new phase with me no longer being a student and "adulting" full-time with my partner. It is a bummer that I will be moving away and not able to spend as much time with everyone, but I know the values that I have developed and the importance I have put on my family will persist into the future. I'll come up to visit as often as I can, and it will be a priority more then it has in the past, when I would go too long between visits. Our families can be frustrating sometimes, but they also (hopefully) love us unconditionally. They will always be supportive and excited for what is happening in our lives, so it is important to make time for them when we can. I look forward to doing my best to continue to cultivate my relationships with my family, especially my brother and mother, since it was just the three of us for a long time and I don't want us to drift apart.

I've appreciated my time in Maine, but I am looking forward to getting my first apartment, living with my fiance, and being close to two big cities as well as our friends. Stay tuned for more thoughts as I go on my next adventure!

Thanks for stopping by!

How Technology Has Shaped My Life For The Better

For as long as I can remember, technology has been a part of my life. I’ve played video games since I was a kid, we had a family computer for as long ago as I can remember (with a dial-up internet connection no less), and I practiced my computer typing as well as used different computer programs to learn in grade school. This has persisted strongly into my adult life, with me having a personal fondness for apps and tools to make our lives easier.

Many people lament technology, but I appreciate it (check out this great book review for some more optimistic thoughts about technology). It has done so much for me in all its different forms. It has helped me meet new people, have fun, and learn. Here are some stories and reflections about each of these gifts technology has given me:

Meeting New People

It is really powerful to connect with people over shared interests, whatever they may be. Once you get people talking about what they love, it makes their enthusiasm contagious. I’ve had the joy of sharing my love of video games with people ever since I was young. I would play games with the neighboring kids and would swap games with each other too. When I got older, I bonded with my college roommate with Call of Duty (the first Modern Warfare to be exact), and met some nice people from all over the world through games like World of Warcraft. You could even consider the connections I’ve strengthened through silly games like Words with Friends or playing online Blackjack games on smartphones. Video games will always be a part of my life, no matter how big or small. They’re just a great way to have fun with others!

Have Fun

Speaking of fun, technology helps us have fun. Obviously video games are a big way, but our smartphones, tablets, laptops, TVs, and streaming devices - when connected to a decent connection like the best satellite internet - allow us to share funny videos, enjoy our favorite shows and movies together, and let us bond over old memories with our photos. I personally don’t partake, but there are apps like Snapchat that give people great joy through silly filters and doodles. Not to mention all the apps out there that are simply made to be fun, like a lightsaber app or one that makes funny sound effects. There were limitations on doing any of this before, where now we can share in all of these things even if we are far apart from those we care about.

Learn New Things

Something that I really appreciate nowadays is being able to look things up when I want an answer. It can range from who this actor is in on whatever show I’m watching, or viewing an informative YouTube video about the science of napping. There is so much knowledge out in the world today, and now all of it is at our fingertips. While some people seem to scoff at this modern era where we no longer have to wonder about things, I love how we can have answers to any and all of even the most mundane queries.

As we reevaluate the role technology has in our lives, we can appreciate it as a worthy compliment to it. There is certainly a line where it becomes too much, but we can use technology in a proper way to supplement our lives and make them richer. We just need to understand what it can offer and its limitations.

Positive Psychology, Social Media, and Student Affairs

* This post was originally featured on The OOHLALA Blog.

I recently took a course on positive psychology, (shout out to my professor, Dr. Colleen Georges!). The focus of positive psychology is on being happy. I’ve found that utilizing the principles of this psychology has helped me to be a more optimistic, empathetic, and grateful person in my daily life.

Positive psychology is great for improving one’s personal life but it’s also a useful application as a student affairs professional. Using the insights of this psychology you can provide students with support and help them succeed in their endeavors.

This psychology is apt for in-person interactions, however as many students spend most of their time online I’m going to talk about how to use positive psychology when engaging with students through social media.

3 Ways to Use Positive Psychology & Social Media to Engage with Students

1. Celebrate positive moments with your students

I enjoy helping to celebrate when my students share an academic or personal success. (Such as getting an internship or membership to a fraternity or sorority). A simple “like” or retweet shows that you’ve taken notice of that student’s post. It makes them feel valued and creates positive feelings.

Pay particular attention to anything related to their college experience. This helps support the value of what they’re choosing to get involved in.This can also be applied to small, simple moments your students share about the good things that happen in their day. The impact of showing that you see, hear, and celebrate the joy of your students is a great way to help spread positivity throughout your campus.

2. Share affirmative messages and quotes

Another simple way to spread positivity throughout your campus is to share brief notes with your students. If you know they have an interview or test coming up, send a quick digital message to wish them luck. You can also share quotes to help motivate and inspire your students. When students are busy and stressed with exams and finals, provide support by sharing helpful videos, articles, or photos to keep students energized.

3. Be helpful everywhere you can

A great way to spread some good energy online is to listen and be helpful to students who have questions or concerns. You’ll surprise and delight your students when you jump in with some advice or resources to solve their problems. They’re often hoping for an solution to their problem but aren’t expecting it since a lot of the time no one responds.

As a student affairs professional, you have the knowledge to get your students help. We do it all the time in person when students stop by our offices. Use that same mindset on social media and your students  will feel supported. Even if they don’t need you all the time,they’ll know an answer is only a post away.

If you commit to this digital effort, it will supplement your other work by spreading positive energy and support for your students. Employing positive psychology principles on social media is a direct connection to the work we do in person with students. We want them to feel valued, supported, and celebrated. This is just another way we can do that for our students every day.

Thanks for stopping by!

Board Games and Self-Care

On your average night, my friends and I get together after work, homework, and all of the stressful things that come with being a Student Affairs graduate student to blow off steam by playing board games. It’s not the type of fun that you’d typically think of young twenty-somethings would have, but it’s exactly what I need to practice self-care.

I first was introduced to the whole world of cooperative board games by my good friend Maverick. He has an entire closet filled with board games—not your simple games like Monopoly, Sorry, or Boggle, but an immense variety of intricate, story driven, collaborative games that require strategy, communication, and skill. At first I played to humor him because of how excited he was to introduce his friends to his world, but the more we played, and the more people we convinced to play with us, the more I truly enjoyed the nights that we spend playing our favorite games.

Each game is different, but the premises are the same—to work together using strategy and skill in order to defeat an end mission. It’s often difficult, and uses a lot of mental power, but it’s truly energizing. The games require strategy to play, and we have to find the exact way to take the necessary steps in order to defeat the mission and avoid having negative consequences happen in the meantime. It is so satisfying to win, knowing that the decisions I might have made helped get us there. I love that these games bring my best friends together and forces us to communicate without the use of technology. I try my hardest to put my phone out of arm’s reach while I’m playing to give myself a digital break.

As Student Affairs Professionals, we spend so much of our time helping other people and extending ourselves beyond what is healthy for us. Playing games with my friends is a way for me to do something for myself that is challenging, fun, and relationship oriented. I’m so grateful that I was introduced to this world and what it’s done for my sanity this year. Board games aren’t the most typical form of fun in the digital age, but the emphasis on relationship building, critical thinking skills, and story driven narrative makes makes them something worth giving a chance.

Here are some of my current favorites:

Dead of Winter: http://www.plaidhatgames.com/games/dead-of-winter

            This game is set in a post-apocalyptic, zombie infested universe. Players work together to complete the end mission (and their own secret mission) before the rounds are over and before morale gets to zero. Each player controls a group of survivors, each with their own special ability. The survivors can go to different locations to search for items or kill zombies, and must work to solve the round specific crisis while working towards this end mission. This is our all time favorite game, and although I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve played it, each time playing through is completely different.

Mysterium: http://www.amazon.com/Asmodee-MYST01ASM-Mysterium/dp/B013TJ5P80

            Mysterium is a crowd favorite, and the best explanation I can give is that it’s like playing adult Clue. Each game has one person playing the role of the ghost, and the rest are investigators. The ghost must silently give each players cards that represent clues in order to help them find their suspect, location, and object. If players guess correctly before the round tracker is at zero, they are able to see the final clues to determine which player guessed the killer/location/object. This one is very easy to teach, and even our friends that aren’t into the intense games love this one!

Eldritch Horror: https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/eldritch-horror/

            This game is a new favorite of ours. It’s one of the more intricate and long games that I’ve played, but the story and artwork make it so worth it. Eldritch Horror is based on the novels of H.P. Lovecraft. Players control a character and travel around the world in order to kill monsters, find clues, and complete smaller missions before the doom tracker reaches zero. It’s hard, and we haven’t beaten it yet, but it’s a lot of fun. It requires a lot of strategy and thought, and because of the difficulty, I find myself wanting to play it so often just to get the chance to beat it.

PS: What are some of your favorite games?

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Hannah Torrance is a West Coast native, finishing the last year of the CSPA program at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY. She is passionate about Greek Life, Student Activities, Residence life, and facilitating meaningful college experiences. She is a lover of books, social media, Netflix, and dry humor. Check out her blog, and follow her on Twitter: @HannahETorrance

Book Review: Likeable Social Media

I finishing reading this book over weekend after it was sitting in my Amazon Wish List for the longest time. Likeable Social Media (I read the new, revised edition) is a book by Dave Kerpen, who works with Likeable Media and Likeable Local to help companies of all kinds maximize word-of-mouth marketing as well as inbound marketing via social media (as the title would imply). Kerpen covers an array of tips and stories on this broad topic, and the end result is a pretty easy read with some great actionable ideas.

I read another one of Kerpen's books, Likeable Leadership, which was a collection of his personal and professional blog posts. I liked that book, which turned me onto this other work of his. Some of the stories are the same but their helpful impact was only furthered through their inclusion here where they are put into a more thoughtful context. The body of the book focuses on 18 tips to help utilize social media in a "likeable" fashion. Kerpen includes advice on how to use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, and more. The advice can be summed up as being authentic, friendly, responsive, and relevant to your audience. Provide content they enjoy, can get value from, and want to share. This will help them have a positive impression of your business and want to be a paying customer. A lot of this stuff was familiar to me from the education I've gotten recently about inbound marketing from places like Hubspot.

I'd recommend this book to anyone looking to brush up on some baseline tips for social media use. Whether you're a nonprofit, small business, or higher ed institution; you can find something useful here. While to me, it started to get redundant at the end, it served to further emphasize the solid points made earlier.

Thanks for stopping by!

How Figuring Out Your Values Optimizes Your Time

I personally have a lot of ideas about a lot of things. I love coming up with new projects or possibilities for any number of things in my life, such as writing different books, starting more podcasts, or tinkering with procedures related to my work managing a residence hall. It is true that we can do whatever we put our minds to, but to really achieve greatness, I feel that we need to prioritize things and perhaps say no to ideas that come up. I’ve written before on productivity and motivation, which I think is a great companion piece to what I’ll share here. There are several benefits to figuring out what our values and goals are and then devoting our attention to these things instead of other stuff that doesn’t connect to these focuses. This can help us achieve more in the long run.

Here are some of the specific benefits of figuring out our values and goals when it comes to our productivity:

Gives you focus

We all have a lot of things that we have to do, and things that we want to do, but in order to not be overwhelmed or waste time on things we shouldn’t be spending time on, we need to focus. I know when I have fewer things on my to-do list, it helps to motivate me to get to work. Also, if something is on my list to do that is not connected either to my job or to my writing, podcasting, or my site, it doesn’t feel as compelling to do since it is sort of irrelevant to what I’m really focused on for myself. This is an important lesson for students especially since they’ll tend to pile on a lot on their plates in terms of involvements thinking that is better for them. I believe that it is better to have fewer, more meaningful experiences that you can really focus on versus just as many clubs, jobs, and whatever else will take you.

Helps you be more engaged

We all know the feeling of when we’re in the zone with a task that is really engaging us. It could be a creative endeavor or just logging data away for a project that is important to you. There has been a lot of talk about it recent years, “flow” as it is called, and how it is something we should all seek as much as we can in our lives. If we’re spending a bunch of our time on tasks and projects that aren’t challenging, utilizing our strengths, or bringing us joy, then we should reassess our priorities to either spend more time on other things or just take time to figure out something to do with ourselves. Some things we have to do, but anything that we can have some choice and control over devoting ourselves to should be delegated to someone else who may get more out of that endeavor than we currently are.

Minimizes stress and frustration

Everyone can agree that getting assigned a task that we do not want to do is a bummer. Ideally our teams would be maximized so we all get projects that utilize our strengths, are engaging, and fulfill us. Sometimes we can’t control this, but as much as we can, we need to make time for the things we want to make time for. Otherwise, we’re spending time on stuff that makes us frustrated, and then we’re stressed because we don’t have as much time to devote to the things we actually want to do. Minimize stress and frustration by focusing as much as you can only on projects and tasks that bring you joy.

It may seem counter intuitive, but spending time figuring out what you want to spend time on can end up helping us be more productive and efficient in the long run. Once you’ve figured out your priorities, just make sure to keep yourself organized so you don’t lose any positive momentum you achieve!

A Geek's Guide to Emotions

Emotions as a topic of conversation tends to get, well, emotional. People have a lot of feelings about how and when it is appropriate to express emotions. I've grown to be acutely aware of the social norms we have around masculinity and emotions, but the universal truth is that we all have emotions as human beings. As much as we might dictate rules surrounding them, we all feel things all day, every day. We all want to be happy and feel safe, and we all want these things for the people we care about. We all are also going to react to things that happen around us, and we are all going to cope with our feelings in our own ways.

I have come a long way personally in the past several years through challenging my perceptions of what it means to be a man (and a geek), and more specifically in terms of accepting my own feelings, expressing those feelings in a healthy way, and being more empathetic of others. These three pillars make up this humble geek's guide to being emotional and they go in a sort of sequential order. Emotions are what connects us all together, and they are important for success in both life and work.

Accepting My Own Feelings

When I was younger, I tended to keep to myself pretty much all the time. I didn't have a lot of friends and we didn't talk about feelings or emotions at all. I didn't really talk to my family much about this sort of stuff either. Nevertheless, I was in my head a lot and had feelings about great many things, mainly feeling lonely and frustrated about not being able to connect with people. I also didn't really ever cry or get emotional, which confused me especially when it seemed like I should. I give a good bit of credit for my "emotional awakening" to my first major girlfriend, who helped me feel safe acknowledging the feelings I had, and secure even while being vulnerable with her. She was the first person who wasn't a family member who I cried in front of, which looking back, was a big moment for me. This was a pivotal first step on my personal journey in understanding my own emotions, and better understanding the emotions of others too.

Expressing My Feelings

I've always been thoughtful, but this trait only does me so much good in life, especially when it comes to sorting out my feelings on things. It helps a lot to talk with others to get understanding, support, and advice. I went to therapy for the first time when I was in college at my campus counseling center. It really helped me build skills to connect with others, helped me be more confident, and helped me verbalize feelings I had never given voice to. Specifically, I talked about my "catastrophizing" negative self-talk and where I thought that all came from. I still struggle with this sort of stuff, but being aware of it and having some skills to deal with it are a big help. A big shout out to my campus counseling center for being a huge help to me!

Being More Empathetic

Having all of this understanding of myself has helped with my dealings with others, be it students, friends, or family. I can recognize where others are coming from emotionally, pass on some of the skills I've learned, and in general just be more patient with people. We all have emotions, and we all have reactions the things that happen around us. Simply validating that in people, even if they're being rude or unruly, can go a long way in diffusing a situation. I can think of several interactions with students or parents that have been subsided by being respectful and empathetic to their emotional state in a given situation.

The more we can all authentically share and connect with our emotions, I think the better we'll all be. We can be honest in how we're feeling, how it is impacting us, and what others can do to best support us. Too many problems come out of this stigma we have attached to talking about our feelings. We all feel like we have to just grit our teeth and take it (or worse, the only emotion that does get expressed is anger). A colleague once said to me that crying isn't a show of weakness, it simply shows when you have been strong for too long.

Hope this geek's guide has been helpful to you in some way. I'd be happy to discuss anything in more detail in the comments or elsewhere.

Check out some other related posts I've written about emotion:

• Green Lantern and What I Learned From The Blackest Night
• Movie Review: Inside Out

Thanks for stopping by!

Digging Deeper into Nerd Masculinity

For a long time I have considered myself a nerd; an avid reader and true academic from an early age. I embraced the term “nerd” more and more during the multiple summers I spent at the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth summer programs, where I learned that it was cool to love learning, comic book characters, abstract television shows, and the unique brains of those around me. In my adult years, I have retained many of those endearing qualities that made me such an oddball little kid. This is an important piece of my origin story, because I believe this love of knowledge and asking hard questions led me to Women’s and Gender Studies, and then Higher Education, academic disciplines where I get to constantly question ideological structures and challenge people’s preconceived notions of identity and being. I had the opportunity to take a course in my Masters program titled “Men and Masculinities”, in which I explored the multiple masculinities that exist within our society. Since the course didn’t reference “nerd masculinity” within its material, I chose to write my final research paper on the topic, and uncovered some insightful information. So all of this (and my relationship with the one and only Higher Ed Geek, who eagerly pushed me to write about this topic) is what has brought me to this blog post.   

I’ll preface this by saying that I recognize there is a difference between nerds and geeks, however there are enough similarities between the stereotypes of the two that for the purposes of this blog I will be referring to “nerds” and a generalized “nerd masculinity” for some simplification.

I started with analyzing some research of school-aged children, since those formative years shape who we become as adults (I suggest checking out NERDS; American Nerd; and The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth if you are interested in children’s perceptions of nerd identity). Stereotypically, “nerds” in elementary and high school are social outcasts, these tend to be the students who have a high intellect, a touch of social awkwardness, and those who find comfort in rational thought. What struck me was that high intellect and rational thought are coveted traits in hegemonic masculinity (the traditional norms and standards society has constructed and expects men to act within); however, nerds are assumed to lack desirable physical traits or social or athletic skills which enable them to fit in with hegemonic standards. These traits may carry on into adulthood, and can become defining characteristics of men’s personalities.

Nerd masculinity is confusing; you might be thinking, “If nerds don’t fit into hegemonic standards of masculinity, how could things like Gamergate or hypersexualized comic book characters happen?” What I’ve learned is that specifically because nerds are ostracized by society (women and other men), they have to perform in a hypermasculine way to attempt to be accepted. This of course, is a generalization, but many nerdy men often feel marginalized within our society’s hierarchical structure, and thus feel the need to marginalize others in order to gain back some sense of power. Every social group (think: religion, ethnicity, national status, sexual orientation) has a hierarchal system in which someone gets oppressed.

Dr. NerdLove has a great article about these toxic notions of masculinity that enable this system of domination and oppression to work in our society. He defines it as a specific narrative about the ways men should act: “emotionally repressed, thuggishly violent, sexually aggressive”. Because toxic masculinity has seeped into every crevice of society, including popular culture and the media, even men who aren’t seen as highly masculine still subconsciously engage in hypermasculine behavior. This is cyclical—nerds are inherently oppressed within the hierarchy of hegemonic masculinity, so they seek out alternative spaces and create their own hierarchy by attempting to emulate behavior that will hopefully gain them more privilege within the hegemonic power structure.

As in all other masculinities, nerd masculinity cannot be understood as a simple blanket identity. There are definitely subtle variations of nerd masculinity that either embrace, or push away from, specific practices of hegemonic masculinity. While nerd culture is not the perfect alternative to hegemonic masculinity, it is certainly becoming absorbed and more accepted by popular culture (read: Marvel and DC movies are dominating the box office, board game sales are steadily increasing, and did anyone see how much Star Wars advertising there was?). Nerd culture is revolutionizing this technological age we live in, and the once ridiculed interests and hobbies of nerds and geeks are becoming popular and in high demand.

While there are still some downsides to nerd culture, including the sexual objectification of women (like women being groped and photographed without their consent at Comic Con, and the few women who are even represented in comics often have ridiculous body shapes and are in in ridiculous poses), as more men begin speaking out against this behavior, and as more women continue joining the nerd ranks, this behavior can and will readily change. Nerd culture has the potential to be a diverse and inclusive environment; just think of all the different characters, superpowers, magical lands, and origin stories that exist across its many different genres. Nerd culture also creates a space for imagination, fun, and creativity, which people of all ages deserve to have access to. Those who embrace nerd masculinity has the ability to subvert hegemonic masculinity and fight the good fight, they just first have to become conscious about what they are standing against.   

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Jennifer Osolinski is a New Jersey native completing her last semester in the University of Maine’s Student Development in Higher Education Masters program. Jenn’s passions are academic advising, feminism, and social justice. She spends her free time looking at puppies on the internet, trying new recipes, and watching a myriad of TV shows and movies. You can follow her on Twitter: @Jenn_Oso

Valuing (and Maximizing) Our Time Away

* This post was originally featured on The OOHLALA Blog.

As the holiday season approaches, many of us will be taking some well-deserved time off from work, classes, and so forth. Unfortunately, this may be some of the only time we take off during the year. Which is why it’s important to use this time to its full advantage. I’ve found that adopting certain personal habits can help me to make the most of my time off.

Spread time throughout the year

Some people only take time off when it is given to them through holidays or forced upon them by others. I personally have taken the stance of giving myself long weekends and “mental health days,” throughout the year.

It helps to sprinkle time off throughout the year in order to minimize the impact of daily stress on your physical and mental well being.I always enjoy my random days off during the week even if they just help me get errands done. Giving myself this periodic time off allows me to better focus on the work I need to do during my regular hours.

When you’re away, be fully present

Unplugging fully from our work lives while we’re away is important, since any part of us that still lingers back at the office is a part that can’t fully enjoy the experience of being away. This means turning off notifications, putting our phones on “do not disturb”, and not checking our email.

I know I’m not perfect with this, but I’m trying to be better, especially whenever I leave for an extended period of time. Trust your colleagues to be able to take care of things in your absence. Also, the more work you can get done ahead of time will help you be mindful of where you are in the moment. Asking for help is also important. In return, you can help others out when they need the same from you later on.

Share the time with others

Another thing I value about having time off  is sharing this time away with others. You can maximize the emotional benefit of getting out of your routine by taking a trip with a family member, partner, or good friend and deepening those connections. It can be something you share and remember for a long time to come. It will be as fulfilling, if not more so, than if you just went on your own.

I always appreciate the opportunity to see friends that have moved across the country. It’s great to be able to share time with them after not having seen them for awhile and it’s also an opportunity to see new places which helps to broaden my horizons.

Another point here is to take pictures of your trips and time away to document the experience so you can share it with others. In the past few years I have become more sentimental about major life experiences. Having some artifacts and photos from my adventures has allowed me to share those experiences with others.You don’t need to share photos on social media at the exact time you take them, (see the previous point of unplugging), but sharing memories with friends and family allows us to reap the benefits of our journeys time and time again.

There are many benefits to taking time away from our normal routines. We can keep in touch with old friends, make new connections, experience amazing new places, and most important of all, we allow ourselves to grow and relax. This can help us to do our best work for our students and role model positive behavior for them. I hope you can take some time off soon—even if it is only a long weekend—to be present somewhere outside of your routine.

Here’s to nourishing, renewing, and growing ourselves all year long!