A Geek's Guide to Leadership

 "This is a stream of consciousness on some leadership tenants that even this endearingly awkward geek can abide by."

My journey to considering my self a leader has been a long one. I was always a pretty shy and humble kid (and still am to some extent) who never wanted to be the center of attention or take charge. It was only once I went to college, found my niche, and was able to have the pleasure and privilege of attending leadership workshops as well as take some awesome courses on leadership, did I build my confidence as someone who had something to offer as a leader. We all are unique and our leadership will take equally unique forms. That being said, there are some general attributes that I feel make for good leaders, which can be adapted and interpreted in their own ways, creating your own mix of how to get things done and lead a team towards a common goal.

I also use the word leader pretty loosely. While I supervise students, I also see myself as a leader in my campus community, working to forge ahead with projects and efforts that will help all students, prospective, current, commuter, and residential.

A lot of this connects to another post of mine about how to maximize the best of geek culture for building community. Check out that post too to learn more of my geeky revelations!

Authentic

A big thing for me is being authentic, genuine, and real. I never want to seem like a phony to my students or some one I'm not to my friends and colleagues. I share my geeky passions regularly and have my office decorated with all my toys and posters. I also let my colleagues know what I think about what we're doing, especially if I don't agree with it. I have gotten great feedback on this, with people appreciating me speaking my mind in a thoughtful and respectful way. Being a leader means being someone people can connect with and speak to about whatever it is they need. You shouldn't ever seem inaccessible or uncaring. I am human, I have thoughts, feelings, opinions, interests, and needs. I don't try to hide this from anyone. I have found it has been very beneficial to let my geek flag fly and to be a genuine caring person to those I work with. People know what I'm into when they want to collaborate (more on that later) and my work comes to be connected to my passions. It all coalesces to make work a more fluid part of my life, where I don't have to hide who I am when I clock in. I do the things I want to do and can do well, which ends up being better for everyone.

Collaborative

I enjoy working on a college campus since it encourages (most of the time) collaboration. We're all working towards the same goal, and we all have limited resources. Work constantly flows in and out of different offices for different efforts like orientation, homecoming, and other large scale events. I also appreciate the opportunity for me to connect with particular offices I want experiences with and that I can just jump in and help out. When people know what I'm genuinely passionate about, I can take the lead on projects that connect with my interests. On this topic, being open to helping folks with anything they might need is another great aspect I've learned over the years. I have become a resource for folks to collaborate on starting podcasts, helping with blogging, and getting rolling with social media efforts. Being open to helping builds good rapport and capital in your organization. A lot of the time, your reputation proceeds you so it is good to be helpful to folks when you can manage it. At the very least, connect folks with each other if you can't help them or don't have time. Each person will be appreciative and you'll have done your good deed for the day!

Grateful

Something I've continually read in leadership books and articles is the importance of gratitude. It helps us be happier, it helps other feel good, and it is a generally positive thing for anyone to do, especially leaders. Appreciation of the work we do everyday is something that is tragically missing from a lot folks' lives. As a humble leader, I'm very gracious for anything people to do to help me out. I feel like I don't deserve it but in the end, it's just positive thing to do to value the contributions people put in, no matter how big or small. It goes a long way to building a solid foundation for relationships to give honest, genuine thanks (especially in handwritten thank you notes). Rarely do we ever actually tell the people in our lives how much we appreciate them and what they do. Start doing it today!

This is a stream of consciousness on some leadership tenants that even this endearingly awkward geek can abide by. They've transformed how I view leadership and my confidence in being able to put my unique spin on it. Hopefully it is helpful to some folks out there, even with how you might inspire your students to be leaders in their own ways.

Thanks for stopping by!

My Writing Process: From Stray Thought to Full Out Geekery

"I hope people can have fun with what I write but also learn something useful for their lives."

I recently go a shout out from the marvelous Marci Walton to write about my writing. It's meta and I dig it so I figured I'd jump on here and leave some thoughts from my work here for the past year and a half of writing.

I have only been writing weekly since January of this year with my geek out posts and movie reviews, with other stuff sprinkled in between, but 2014 has been a good year for me to get in a regular habit of writing. I've written around 160 posts for this blog, covering all sorts of geeky topics that matter to me. I hope the framework of stuff below helps others get into a flow of writing however they wish about whatever they want.

On My Writing Process 

What are you working on? 

I'm currently working on a few different blog posts about stuff that has been popping up in my head recently just as stray thoughts or from reading books, articles, and keeping up with the news. I'm also working on reading more books to review and keeping my regular schedule of movie reviews from Netflix and geeking out about new, cool stuff. Keep an eye out for some awesome posts coming soon!

How does your work differ from others of its genre? 

I feel my work is pretty unique since I always try to find connections to student affairs in geeky topics, such as Star Wars, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Spider-Man, and Green Lantern. I don't see a lot of that out there in the blogging world and I enjoy being something original and unique. I think we should all seek to do our own thing and not just create an echo chamber for the usual zeitgeist.

Why do you write what you do?

I write what I do because it is what interests me and it is how my brain works a lot of the time. I always joke that I take my entertainment seriously. I look into their subtexts or symbolism to see what they have to say about society or greater topics like choice, love, friendship, family, or any number of other things. I hope people can have fun with what I write but also learn something useful for their lives. I seek to provide value and happiness to my readers!

How does your writing process work? 

I usually just let my mind wander and allow for ideas to pop in. Whether that is something about one particular show or movie or is about a general topic, I usually make sure to draft up a blog post for it so I don't lose the idea. A lot of the time I'll be watching or reading something and find something relevant in it, like with Green Lantern. For something like Star Wars, I was surprised I hadn't blogged about it specifically already. I also just think a lot about topics like positivity, social media, sustainability, or nerdy stuff in general so ideas will come to me all the time. I typically will bounce ideas off my partner to see if they make sense or not instead of always just having them rattle around in my head all the time. I don't have a formal, structured, or detailed process for getting the content together. I just let the writing flow out and then I'll proof myself afterwards. This works well for me but I know it might not work well for everyone! I'm also a very brief writer so I don't feel the need to prepare too much for posts since they're just quick bits and thoughts I want to share.

Thanks again to Marci for sharing her process and for the shout out! I nominate Tom Krieglstein & Jennifer Keegin. Why do you write what you do?!

Thanks for stopping by!

The Human Side of Social Media

"Anytime there is a tweet, post, picture, or any sort of content on social media...there is a human being behind that."

After recently reading some interesting perspectives on the popular app Yik Yak from folks like Eric Stoller and Paul Gordon Brown, I recently had some thoughts of my own on the subject in a macro sense.

Anonymity on the web is a topic for serious discussion and there have been a lot of concerns lately about privacy and protecting our information, which are definitely completely valid. I personally typically fall on the side of being open and authentic online. In general though, especially when it comes to the civil discourse of important topics while on social media, I feel being ourselves is always valuable and necessary.

Whether it is the use of a screen name on YouTube or cyberbullying incidents that have become more common on campuses across the country, there is a basic tenant of being ourselves in the various social networks we inhabit. Much of the vitriol and negativity online comes when there is no accountability to the person saying it. The types of things we say to each other on the web would never be uttered in public. The protective shroud of anonymity allows for hateful things to come out of us, which I would attribute to being emotional knee jerk responses rather than how we all know we should treat each other.

A public, personal web is one where people can be accountable to what they say, and represent what is truly behind their words; a human being. We often forget that anytime there is a tweet, post, picture, or any sort of content on social media, there is a human being behind that. Someone took the time to type something out and send it, no matter what you might think. We should engage with empathy, as we would in any other venue.

I look forward to a more civil, respectful web where we are able to authentically connect about the issues and topics that matter to us. How we get there is through being mindful of the other people out there with us, and through digital literacy. As a student affairs professional, everyday I help people understand the power of their actions on others, we should be doing the same for the digital realm. I fully support programs, workshops, and tools to help students (and anyone really) learn how to best behave online. I believe the type of negativity I see on Yik Yak and elsewhere is not us. I am optimistic in people's true natures and have seen the type of positive outcomes that can come from online communities. We can and will do better in our online interactions in the future, we just have to work to make that a reality sooner rather than later.

I appreciate your thoughts on this...and as always, thanks for stopping by.

Star Wars & Always Seeing the Good in People

"No. You're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you."

"You already... have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister... you were right."

I have surprisingly not blogged a lot about Star Wars yet, even though it is one of my major fandoms. I've loved it for a long time now and I am cautiously optimistic about Episode VII that is due to come out next year.

A major arc of the Star Wars films is Anakin's journey toward the dark side and coming back to the light in the end to save the day and rescue his son, Luke, from the Emperor. Luke, after discovering that Darth Vader is actually his father, Anakin, can't bring himself to simply kill his father for the good of the galaxy. He knows Anakin is a good person who did bad things, not just simply an evil person who must die without any chance for redemption. Others see Luke as foolish for believing he can save his father, who others see as too far gone. Luke commits to his stance to save his father AND the galaxy, not willing to give up simply from the pressure of others. In the end, he is able to accomplish his goal and give Anakin a brief moment in the light before he dies from his injuries inflicted from his rescue of Luke.

If you've seen Return of the Jedi, you know the whole sequence I'm talking about and if you've seen the whole saga of films, you know Anakin's arc from the six films. While there is a lot of valid gripes folks have with the two trilogies (myself included), the thing I love about the story is Anakin's character arc, going from a wide-eyed kid on Tatooine, to Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars to a broken man (literally and figuratively) and back to his good natured self that has always been there deep inside.

A major takeaway here that I really appreciate is not giving up on people. People make bad choices, we all do, but that doesn't mean they're bad people. People make choices based on their past, what they're feeling now, and what they want for the future. All of this is subject to flux based on who they surround themselves with, their environments, and who may not be around them to help them make positive choices. I'm a empathetic person, and I always see things from others' perspectives. It can be a gift and a curse, but I would never want to not feel anything for others when they're suffering, confused, lost, or misunderstood. Working in student affairs, and especially in residence life, I see this a lot. I can't ever assume everyone is hiding something, has ulterior motives, or is doing this to hurt me personally. I prefer to stay positive, give people chances, and trust people until they give me a reason not to.

This lesson from Star Wars is a big one, I feel, in my ongoing effort to reach zen status (or perhaps Jedi Mastery?!). I don't ever want to be someone who is just mad at the world and thinks everyone is evil, selfish, and immoral. I think when people are given the opportunity to do what's right, they'll do it. We just have to trust each other, love unconditionally, and put good energy out into the universe. Maybe then we'll be able to work together to build a more decent, good, and just galaxy here and far, far away.

Thanks for stopping by!

Some Brief Life Updates!

Hey there, everybody!

It's been a little over two months since I got up here to Maine for my new full-time position so I thought since I have a bit of down time after training and opening, I'd share some thoughts and feelings from the experience so far.

My first month here was pretty hard for me personally. I wrote previously about some of the professional struggles I had, and they only compounded some of the feelings of loneliness and adjustment struggles to being in a new, very different area from where I was before. It was a bit of a culture shock not really knowing what to expect going from central New Jersey to central Maine. I've never lived in Maine so the rural aspect to the area was a bit jarring at first. I should have known what I was in for from my visits throughout my life but alas, it nevertheless was a bit of a rocky landing. Thankfully, after the first few weeks of finding my way around and figuring out my own rhythm in this strange land, I began to feel better. The people were welcoming, the cool local places were a lot of fun and I got to see a whole other side to my home state I've never seen before.

So, as month two began, I was in much of a flow than I was before. I had some routine and a supportive community of friends and colleagues beginning to develop. Then training and opening happened. It was rough for me as it always is. It was especially tough since I am new to this institution and put a lot of pressure on myself to know all the answers and be able to do everything for my students but I couldn't. There are many other frustrations I've had over the entire two months but that my be a post for another time.

I look forward to the beginning of a new academic year that is full of learning experiences for me. I'm in a state I've never lived in before, at a small private university (unlike the two, large, public universities I came from before), working with new people in an albeit familiar way but in a totally different context. It is rough at times but I know I'll be a better professional at the end of it all.

I never want to just play it safe any more, I've had plenty of that. I look forward to more adventures this year and beyond as I look to grow and learn as a person and a professional. I'm ready to get out into the world and make a difference for my students this year.

I'll keep blogging periodically as cool things happen and I have something to say, so stay tuned!

Thanks for stopping by!

What I'm Geeking Out About This Week - 08/22/14

Welcome to another week of my perpetual geek outs!

Since I didn't want to not post this week and having been busy recently with my job, I'm going to do something a little different this time around. This is a forward looking edition of what I'm geeking out about. I'm going to share some books I looking forward to geeking out about so hopefully we can read along together in the coming months. Enjoy!

• "Without Their Permission: How the 21st Century Will Be Made, Not Managed" by Alexis Ohanian
• "Contagious Optimism: Uplifting Stories and Motivational Advice for Positive Forward Thinking" by David Mezzapelle
• "The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory, and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School" by Alexandra Robbins

I want to tackle these three distinct books for a variety of personal interests so I hope you can check out one or all of them!

Thanks for stopping by!

Green Lantern and What I Learned From 'The Blackest Night'

Recently I just wrapped up reading the main story line of 'The Blackest Night' event in DC Comics. The story centers around the Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, which is one of my favorite superheroes.

The basic premise of the story is that the emotional light spectrum (based around the ROYGBIV framework) has split. Where there is usually just the green light, powered by will, there is now lanterns for all of the aforementioned colors. Yellow is powered by fear, red by rage, blue by hope, orange by greed, violet by love, and indigo by compassion. This creates an imbalance, more or less, that realizes the prophecy of the "blackest night" which would extinguish all the light in the universe and end the chaos this splintering of the emotional light spectrum caused.

Long story short, this plot involved a lot of discussion of emotions, their causes, and their validity. Certain lanterns are obvious opposites of each other and an emotion like greed, turned up to 11 (so to speak), is just chaos. In the end though, all of the different colors are able to come together to end the rampage of the undead husks of the "Black Lanterns" that are destroying life all over the universe. They come to an understanding of each other at times, or at least an acceptance that for some, the power of their ring is the one controlling them, making them a single-minded embodiment of greed for example.

This was my big takeaway and my favorite element of this story line. People feel what they feel, we shouldn't judge them or assume anything about what they're feeling. Sometimes rage is the appropriate response to injustice. Sometimes hope is the hardest thing to do for someone. Sometimes fear can make good people do misguided things. In the end though, it furthered my love of the Green Lantern to know that no matter what else is going on, you just need to have the will to carry on because there are people that care about you and it gets better.

I highly recommend all of the Blackest Night story. It's action-packed, involves the whole DC Universe, and has this great undercurrent of emotional stuff. Check it out and let me know what you think!

Thanks for stopping by!

In Defense of Couples Who Profess Their Love on Social Media

"...it’s not the responsibility of the people in your Facebook feed to stop succeeding...it’s on us as individuals to figure out how to be happy for other people’s happiness and not translate someone else’s success into our own personal failure...it’s not the responsibility of our Facebook friends to live smaller lives. It’s our responsibility to be bigger people."

I read this post a while ago from Hello Giggles about a recent study on how people react to those people we all know who overshare about how much they love their partners. It came to the obvious conclusion that people were adverse to those couples that gush about one another endlessly on social media. The answer there is simple; moderation.

What I really connected with in this article though was about how a lot of people are mad, sad, or upset when other people in their feeds are happy or doing well. It taps into this energy within us that embodies our jealousies, our doubts, our anxieties, and we focus on someone else's chosen way to express their happiness and we get angry that one of our friends is celebrating a success in their life. Shouldn't we be happy for our friends' happiness?

I certainly admit I struggle with this very thing so when I read this article, it definitely hit very close to home for me. In my ongoing quest for ultimate "zen status" where I am at peace with the world and everyone in it, I take this on as my next challenge. I'm going to not get jealous or envious when someone I care about is doing well. I am going to be glad and celebrate the joys of my friends and family, because there is no harm to me if those around me do well. We're all on the same team and we all just want to be loved, to be secure, and to be able to enjoy ourselves while we're on this massive spinning rock called Earth. Lets all make it a more positive, supportive place for us all to be happy and for us all to celebrate that happiness however we see fit.

I hope you are inspired by this simple idea like I was.

Thanks for stopping by.

The Language of Love & Leadership

I recently took this quiz at the behest of my partner. It seeks to show you, based on a series of questions, how you prefer to receive love. This can be used for romantic and platonic relationships alike and I have heard about it from both friends and work colleagues so I felt it was about time to check it out. Similar to a previous post of mine on leadership inventories like MBTI and StrengthsQuest, I found relevant connections to student affairs and leadership with this survey. Figuring out one's "love language" allows for an unique insight into how we prefer to receive praise, how we make connections with other people, and how we would prefer to achieve that precarious work/life balance, harmony, etc.

There are five love languages that you get varying point scores for (much like True Colors). The languages are physical touch, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation. After taking the survey, I found my top languages to be quality time and words of affirmation. I found this to be highly accurate for myself. I really appreciate, in all my relationships, the opportunity to spend time with the people who are important to me even if that is just hanging out. I also very much appreciate when people tell me how they feel and even more so how I make them feel. I never really ask for the words of affirmation from people but I enjoy it when I get them.

Taking this survey allowed for me to objectively see what I need to feel loved, appreciated, and valued, at work and in life. Just like the other leadership inventories, it allows for a common language of leadership that can create better teams that are heard, understood, and given what they need to succeed.

Check the quick Love Languages survey here and make sure to have coworkers and partners take it too. It's really helpful!

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Updates from the New Job!

Hey there friends,

I just wrote a post for The Student Affairs Collective about my first few weeks at my new job. Check it out for some formal thoughts and learning that has gone on since I got here.

Thanks for stopping by and have an awesome day!