My Life on the Margins: How I Wrote Myself In
This post is a personal story. It is purely my experience but I think it has some poignant lessons for others, so I’ve been thinking lately about how best to write on it.
I am currently writing as a final project for my graduate program a “learning narrative” that encompasses my entire time inside the classroom and outside for the past two years. Anything I’ve learned is fair game and it is aligned with professional competencies from ACPA and NASPA all in an effort to get us best prepared for our new professional lives. I find this project fascinating and it has forced me to not only reflect but put these feelings and thoughts into words that others can understand.
A main point that granted me a great deal of clarity over the course of this process has been the aspect of why I do a lot of the things I do on a daily basis. My self exploration resulted in my affirmation that I often feel not important, marginalized, and as if I’m not making a difference. Whether it is in my work feeling I’m not heard or taken seriously or my personal life with being the one who’s invitation must have gotten lost, it has certainly caused me a bit of grief over the years. I was never a bad kid, nor was I the gifted one. I was shy when I was younger too but I wasn’t awkward to the point that I couldn’t make friends, I guess I just didn’t know how to. So I think I was just the person who everyone assumed was doing just fine because I kept my head down, did my work, and had my own thing going on. Behind that veneer of stoicism, however, was someone yearning for more.
The optimistic point I want to share on this though is that I’ve utilized this doubt and anxiety into a strength. My desire to be heard, to be important, and to make an impact has inspired me to make this blog, to write, and to create a unified name that I hope to be known for. It’s even made me want to take care of myself better, both mentally and physically, in a way that is a bit more superficial. It’s interesting the way my positive mindset toward these self generated feelings has made me feel the best I’ve ever felt and made me motivated to do things I am proud to be a part of.
My call to action is that I’m sure some of our students or maybe even some of us feel this way. Don’t let these feelings hold you down, make them inspire you to do more and be more, Take charge of your life and be heard, don’t wait around to be. Hopefully these parcels of wisdom will help you or your students do less of what is making them feel frustrated and do more of what makes them feel amazing, awesome, and important.
