Looking Back on a Year Filled with Adventure

I felt the need to reflect back on my year, personally and professionally, as I settle into the comforts of winter break. I've been able to sleep in, see family, work through my Netflix queue, spend time with my wonderful partner, and generally not have to do anything I don't choose. This has been a relaxing, calming experience since the residence halls closed. I've been able to center myself again after the sort of manic-ness that is the end of the semester. Looking back, this past year had a few ups and downs but I feel as though it was a year where I challenged myself in a few new ways, and grew because of it. I'm thankful, with the clarity of hindsight, to see that it all happened for a reason to make me a better, more confident person.

To work chronologically, I honestly started the year in a bad place. I had a rough time getting through the holidays, having spent them pretty much alone. In response, I just kept to myself in my apartment and didn't really get up to much. I actually looked forward to the semester started since it would give me a purpose and something to do with my time. As the semester went forward, I was volunteering some of my time in various offices and was honing in my focus on the type of work and skills I wanted to cultivate. I was doing some things I didn't find that rewarding and others that I had a blast being a part of, namely doing marketing work for the Division of Student Affairs here at Rutgers. I worked with great people doing cool new things I'd never tried before. Flexing these new muscles, I was able to gain confidence that I could be a quick learner and contribute meaningful things to a new team.

A huge new adventure for me this past year was flying out to Las Vegas for the annual convention for ACPA (a national college student affairs organization for those who don't know). At this time, I hadn't flown for years, much less gone across the country. I'd always just stuck to the East Coast so going to a whole new place, also never having gone to a big convention before, made the experience an amazing one once I came back and crashed on my bed in New Jersey after a whirlwind week. While I wasn't much of a fan of the city of Las Vegas, I had a very rewarding time challenging myself to go far out of my comfort zone; learning new things and meeting new people.

Next, after feeling great finishing my first year of graduate school and getting through a year supervising a residence hall community, I quickly transitioned right into my summer working with New Student Orientation here at Rutgers. The journey to get here, however, was not what I thought it would be. I applied for various NODA (the national college orientation organization) internships around the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast regions of the country. I interviewed for several of them and got rejected for all of them. I simultaneously applied for opportunities here at Rutgers as a backup plan, hoping to continue my spirit of adventure at another institution for the summer. Nevertheless, I ended up here, at the very least doing the sort of work I wanted to do, so I was happy enough. Little did I know I was getting myself into one of the best summers of my life, personally and professionally.

First off, I was able to deepen connections with fellow members of my cohort who were also in the area for the summer. Second, I garnered a newfound respect for Rutgers and everything it is capable of as a large institution. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I met my new partner, Jenn. I would not have had the pleasure of having her in my life if I hadn't stayed here. I feel different about her, as opposed to others I've dated, and it's been an amazing ride so far these past few months so I look forward to what's next. She's pretty awesome. I can't say that enough. I'll have to introduce you soon.

My last interesting experience I wish to quickly share was going to the Firefly Music Festival that takes place in Delaware (my home state). I went with a friend and it was a wild ride. I have to mention it and share the fun I had since even though it was just a brief part of my year, I never thought I'd do something like that and I am proud to say I did.

So here I am, having completed 3/4 of my master's degree, on the precipice of the job search, and having a wonderful relationship to support and inspire me. I feel very grateful and while everything may not have worked at times like I thought they should, as I tell folks all the time, it all happens for a reason, whether or not we can see it yet or not. Be on the lookout for a post on the year ahead.

Happy New Year everyone!

My Life on the Margins: How I Wrote Myself In

This post is a personal story. It is purely my experience but I think it has some poignant lessons for others, so I’ve been thinking lately about how best to write on it.

I am currently writing as a final project for my graduate program a “learning narrative” that encompasses my entire time inside the classroom and outside for the past two years. Anything I’ve learned is fair game and it is aligned with professional competencies from ACPA and NASPA all in an effort to get us best prepared for our new professional lives. I find this project fascinating and it has forced me to not only reflect but put these feelings and thoughts into words that others can understand.

A main point that granted me a great deal of clarity over the course of this process has been the aspect of why I do a lot of the things I do on a daily basis. My self exploration resulted in my affirmation that I often feel not important, marginalized, and as if I’m not making a difference. Whether it is in my work feeling I’m not heard or taken seriously or my personal life with being the one who’s invitation must have gotten lost, it has certainly caused me a bit of grief over the years. I was never a bad kid, nor was I the gifted one. I was shy when I was younger too but I wasn’t awkward to the point that I couldn’t make friends, I guess I just didn’t know how to. So I think I was just the person who everyone assumed was doing just fine because I kept my head down, did my work, and had my own thing going on. Behind that veneer of stoicism, however, was someone yearning for more.

The optimistic point I want to share on this though is that I’ve utilized this doubt and anxiety into a strength. My desire to be heard, to be important, and to make an impact has inspired me to make this blog, to write, and to create a unified name that I hope to be known for. It’s even made me want to take care of myself better, both mentally and physically, in a way that is a bit more superficial. It’s interesting the way my positive mindset toward these self generated feelings has made me feel the best I’ve ever felt and made me motivated to do things I am proud to be a part of.

My call to action is that I’m sure some of our students or maybe even some of us feel this way. Don’t let these feelings hold you down, make them inspire you to do more and be more, Take charge of your life and be heard, don’t wait around to be. Hopefully these parcels of wisdom will help you or your students do less of what is making them feel frustrated and do more of what makes them feel amazing, awesome, and important.

CiSA 2013: A Lesson on Personal Growth

On this past Sunday, I put on an event called the 2013 Careers in Student Affairs (Un)Conference  [CiSA for short] here at Rutgers University. I had been planning it for the entire calendar year amidst all the other things I’ve been up to so it was amazing to have it finally have it happen.

The journey to the actual fruition of this event has been an interesting one, with my original feelings on it all being very negative, since it was not what I had thought I’d be doing with my year. It just fell into my lap since no one else wanted to take it on. Although it was hard to swallow at first, it came to be something I could be excited about once I made it my own.

Making it my own took some time to plan out, with many details that had to come about from scratch, and it was hard since I am not a particularly detail-oriented. It was a very educational experience in making a large-scale event happening and fulfilling the experience it is you have envisioned. I know it will be something I can talk about in the gauntlet of interviews I have coming up about all the challenges and successes I went through.

My biggest takeaway that I feel like I can talk about now is getting over this paralysis I was getting into planning the event. I was so concerned with the event being perfect and how many people were going to come but after some pep talks and inspirational podcasts, I was excited to just get it out into the world to help people rather than be just an idea in my head. Also, when you think about it, it doesn’t matter how many people come since the people that came got something from it and that’s the most important thing.

I am very glad to have had this special experience and to have met so many awesome student affairs people in the process. Stay tuned for CiSA 2014!

Self-Reflection: Moving Forward by Looking Back

So I write to you all tonight a month after my last post, fresh from my summer work and thrown right into the thick of training for the next academic year. Not having a break to speak of at all was frustrating on some levels but I am thankful for the opportunity to be doing some great work consistently with even greater people. That being said, I wanted to get some more thoughts down as I sit here in my apartment after a long week of training.

Something I think a lot about is the past. I was a history major as an undergraduate student so I appreciate the story that every person has and the fact that everything that happens around us has some sort of context through which it happened. A professor shared a fun anecdote that explains this. He described the discipline of history as a "turtle on a fencepost", as to say that turtle could not have gotten up there on it's own so there is some story there to explore. History is the same way. Whether it is something that happened yesterday or two hundred years ago, there is a story there to learn and grow from.

Another great quote is "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." It applies to the history of us as humans but also our own personal stories. To simply forget whatever came before deprives us from an amazing learning experience. Granted, one has to be comfortable enough to take a hard look at themselves, but I think the results are very powerful. Being able to analyze and scrutinize our own behavior and choices, especially with the help of a trusted confidant, is really one of the only ways to constantly grow and develop to be the most good, prudent, and self-aware person we can be.

So, in order to be the best professionals and best people we can be, I think we all need to stop every once in a while and take a look back at where we've been in order to better get where we're going.

First Post!

Greetings world (if anyone out there is listening yet). Just joined the blogging game and excited for the journey. All I am hoping for is to showcase my passions, help others, and connect with a community of great new people. Here's to great things to come!