5 Life Lessons and Values to Teach Your Child

When it comes to parenting advice, one of the most popular topics is values you can teach your child in their early years to help them in later life. Here, we break down five of the most relevant and easily-delivered life lessons you can give to your child.

How to manage money

It may sound harsh, but it's never too early to start teaching a child how to manage their finances. Many people find themselves in financial difficulties when they reach college or graduate age, simply because they've never had to deal with being responsible for their own money before.

By teaching your child early about how to balance their pocket money with how much they want to spend, you'll also be teaching them how to deal with bills, bank accounts and savings when the time comes.

Make healthy food choices

Just like their finances, many young people struggle to eat healthily when they move out of the family home. And just like teaching them how to manage money, if you can give your child some good sound principles about nutrition and the importance of a good diet, they'll go on to form good habits that will last a (longer) lifetime.

The joy of learning

Instilling a love of learning in your child is, arguably, the most important lesson a parent can teach a child. Think about it: for most of the first two decades of their life, your child will be in education in one form or another. With that in mind, it's never a bad thing to encourage them to enjoy it.

Studies have shown that children who grow up actively encouraged to enjoy learning are more likely to avoid struggling in school, underperforming in exams and facing hardship in the job market when they grow up. Anything you, as a parent, can do to help your child cope with the pressure of education later in life is a precious and easy gift for you to pass on.

The courage to speak up

It's very important that when you're encouraging your child to enjoy learning - whether that's through reading with you, seeking out information on their own, and testing themselves - you don't accidentally teach them to simply agree with all the information they're given.

This is a hard lesson to teach, but having the courage to disagree is a vital part of growing up to be a well-rounded and confident individual. We don't mean encouraging them to challenge authority at every step, but teaching a child that there are times when it's appropriate to speak up can bring big rewards in the future.

Resolve disagreements peacefully

With the courage to disagree comes the responsibility to resolve those disagreements without causing further problems. This is something that kids can pick up with practice, and it all starts from their earliest days; children who are able to settle arguments with calm, logical explanations, referring to facts and pointing out obvious contradictions, are more likely to be listened to than those who simply shout until they feel they've gotten their way. The takeaway should be that it's fine to disagree when you feel someone is wrong, but never to fight about it.

Making Time for What You Want to Make Time For

The title of this post is something I say to people often. It can apply to anything (and anyone) and speaks to what we value and what we make space for in our lives. Granted, there is always more that we can do with our time, but often, I find that people suffer from inertia coming from what they've always done or whatever is easiest. Time is a finite resource. When we "save" it, it isn't going into some bank to use later, we have to make the most of the time that is given to us.

An example of this that often frustrates me is people making time for each other. Whether it is friends, colleagues, or family, we have to deliberately make time for whatever we want to make time for, even when that might not be the path of least resistance. We always give each other the pleasantries of wanting to meet up and do something or talk more, but we often don't. After the long days of our busy lives, we end up procrastinating about these sort of things. Perhaps those are efforts that are best left undone, maybe they don't deserve our time, but a lot of them might warrant our attention and we have to push through the inertia to actually make it happen. If we don't then the decision about it will probably be made for us by the people and tasks we're neglecting.

We can do more and be better by spending purposeful energy thinking about what specifically we want to make time for and actually making that time. Schedule time to talk with that person you want to talk to, make a to-do list about that project you want to get done, and figure out what in your life deserves your attention.

Inertia is the enemy of productivity and the enabler of complacency. We can do more and be better to each other by being aware of it and actively working against it. We have to make time for what we want to make time for. Only then will we feel empowered to make positive change for ourselves and each other.

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Movie Review Monday: A.C.O.D.

Welcome to another edition of Movie Review Monday!

This week's film is the 2013 dark comedic drama, A.C.O.D (Adult Children of Divorce) starring Adam Scott, Jane Lynch, and Amy Poehler among others in a solid ensemble cast.

Two things to start off: this is my first new movie review in a while, so thank you for your patience, and I did not like this movie. I had high hopes with the unique premise and awesome cast (including two of my favorites, Scott and Poehler from Parks and Rec) but it ultimately did not pan out.

The great cast wasn't given too much to do to and the plot was middling and frustrating. Sometimes when movies showcase realistic, selfish characters, it is refreshing and insightful. This movie did not accomplish that. It was just frustrating. It also didn't focus enough for me. It had a lot it wanted to do and balance, but it ended up fumbling for me. I watched this with my partner, and she wasn't a fan either. We wanted more resolution and more to grab onto in terms of the plot and any takeaways. I get that it didn't resolve anything just like life doesn't. Life just keeps on going. But I have seen other movies do a far better job handling a lack of firm resolution.

If you're looking for an uproariously funny comedy or a heartfelt drama, look elsewhere. This movie doesn't give much but a few good moments in what ultimately feels like a meandering hour and a half.

I'll have something better for you next week!

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What I Learned From Living in Maine

My time living in my home state of Maine for the first time is coming to an end. I don't know if I will ever live here again, but I will certainly visit often and have appreciated being able to explore this naturally beautiful state. I've learned a few things from being here for two years, and I wanted to reflect on this time here on the blog.

My Appreciation for Craft Beer

Maine has an awesome craft beer scene. There are breweries of all sizes and styles, from Allagash, to Shipyard, Sea Dog, Black Bear, Geaghan's, Baxter's, and my personal favorite, Orono Brewing Company. This community is a fun, passionate one full of unique flavors and artistry in each beer. Going to local breweries helps support small businesses, but it also allows for connections based on a share interest with other people or it's especially great when you can talk with the people who made the beer you're enjoying. I look forward to continuing to support the breweries I love, and discovering new ones in Maryland and wherever else I go to visit.

The Value of Beautiful, Natural Spaces

Most of Maine is covered in trees, that is a fact. The state (which is larger than most people think) is sparsely populated with small towns nestled in these woods, and Maine also has a beautiful coastline. My partner and I especially enjoy the Bar Harbor area which is a popular tourist location that neighbors the very awesome Acadia National Park. There is an abundance of naturally beautiful spaces in Maine, with plenty of great trails to walk and mountains to climb. It is important to preserve areas like this for people to enjoy. It's good for communities in so many different ways (jobs, recreation, and the environment just to name a few major ones) and I look forward to finding spaces to explore in Maryland.

The Importance of Family

My mom and all of my extended family lives in Maine (my brother still lives in Delaware, where both of us grew up) so it has been nice to see my family up here more often than I ever had before. It is really great for me to be able to spend quality time with my mom as our relationship shifts into a new phase with me no longer being a student and "adulting" full-time with my partner. It is a bummer that I will be moving away and not able to spend as much time with everyone, but I know the values that I have developed and the importance I have put on my family will persist into the future. I'll come up to visit as often as I can, and it will be a priority more then it has in the past, when I would go too long between visits. Our families can be frustrating sometimes, but they also (hopefully) love us unconditionally. They will always be supportive and excited for what is happening in our lives, so it is important to make time for them when we can. I look forward to doing my best to continue to cultivate my relationships with my family, especially my brother and mother, since it was just the three of us for a long time and I don't want us to drift apart.

I've appreciated my time in Maine, but I am looking forward to getting my first apartment, living with my fiance, and being close to two big cities as well as our friends. Stay tuned for more thoughts as I go on my next adventure!

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Movie Review Monday: E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial

Welcome to another edition of Movie Review Monday!

This week's film is the 1982 classic, E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial directed by Steven Spielberg.

I've been wanting to watch this movie for a while now, as it was another one on my sci-fi classics list to finally see. Unfortunately, when seeing these films (specifically ones like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Close Encounters of the Third Kind) some of them just didn't really connect with me. While some were enjoyable, I think they were all definitely films of their time that had an impact when they came out, but now, with other modern films capturing the minds of audiences, they more serve as historic benchmarks than anything else. I think sci-fi as a genre is heavily dependent on the era from which it is made, since when it is at its best, it provides a unique opportunity for powerful allegories.

Now, back to E.T. I thought this was a cute, simple, small movie. It wasn't worried about the world exploding or an alien invasion. It was just about a lost alien trying to get home. In that way, it was a refreshing story when compared to the big, loud, and/or dumb sci-fi we get currently with things like Transformers (and all the movies trying to copy its success). Otherwise, I didn't really enjoy this movie. A lot of it happened with no explanation and it was a bit clumsy as a result. I just found myself confused by it but it was still a fun movie for the most part. At under two hours, it still felt a little long and stretched out to be honest. Even with all that being said, and it being an older movie, it feels like it is made for a family to watch together and it was definitely made for kids. Something I noticed watching this movie was how most of the adult roles are either not focused on or are shrouded. The whole film feels like it is done from a child's perspective in that way. It's a neat touch.

I'm glad I got to see this movie and appreciate what it offers. While it wasn't my favorite, I get the appeal, especially for someone who was the right age when it came out originally.

You can watch E.T. right now on Netflix.

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A Geek's Guide to Emotions

Emotions as a topic of conversation tends to get, well, emotional. People have a lot of feelings about how and when it is appropriate to express emotions. I've grown to be acutely aware of the social norms we have around masculinity and emotions, but the universal truth is that we all have emotions as human beings. As much as we might dictate rules surrounding them, we all feel things all day, every day. We all want to be happy and feel safe, and we all want these things for the people we care about. We all are also going to react to things that happen around us, and we are all going to cope with our feelings in our own ways.

I have come a long way personally in the past several years through challenging my perceptions of what it means to be a man (and a geek), and more specifically in terms of accepting my own feelings, expressing those feelings in a healthy way, and being more empathetic of others. These three pillars make up this humble geek's guide to being emotional and they go in a sort of sequential order. Emotions are what connects us all together, and they are important for success in both life and work.

Accepting My Own Feelings

When I was younger, I tended to keep to myself pretty much all the time. I didn't have a lot of friends and we didn't talk about feelings or emotions at all. I didn't really talk to my family much about this sort of stuff either. Nevertheless, I was in my head a lot and had feelings about great many things, mainly feeling lonely and frustrated about not being able to connect with people. I also didn't really ever cry or get emotional, which confused me especially when it seemed like I should. I give a good bit of credit for my "emotional awakening" to my first major girlfriend, who helped me feel safe acknowledging the feelings I had, and secure even while being vulnerable with her. She was the first person who wasn't a family member who I cried in front of, which looking back, was a big moment for me. This was a pivotal first step on my personal journey in understanding my own emotions, and better understanding the emotions of others too.

Expressing My Feelings

I've always been thoughtful, but this trait only does me so much good in life, especially when it comes to sorting out my feelings on things. It helps a lot to talk with others to get understanding, support, and advice. I went to therapy for the first time when I was in college at my campus counseling center. It really helped me build skills to connect with others, helped me be more confident, and helped me verbalize feelings I had never given voice to. Specifically, I talked about my "catastrophizing" negative self-talk and where I thought that all came from. I still struggle with this sort of stuff, but being aware of it and having some skills to deal with it are a big help. A big shout out to my campus counseling center for being a huge help to me!

Being More Empathetic

Having all of this understanding of myself has helped with my dealings with others, be it students, friends, or family. I can recognize where others are coming from emotionally, pass on some of the skills I've learned, and in general just be more patient with people. We all have emotions, and we all have reactions the things that happen around us. Simply validating that in people, even if they're being rude or unruly, can go a long way in diffusing a situation. I can think of several interactions with students or parents that have been subsided by being respectful and empathetic to their emotional state in a given situation.

The more we can all authentically share and connect with our emotions, I think the better we'll all be. We can be honest in how we're feeling, how it is impacting us, and what others can do to best support us. Too many problems come out of this stigma we have attached to talking about our feelings. We all feel like we have to just grit our teeth and take it (or worse, the only emotion that does get expressed is anger). A colleague once said to me that crying isn't a show of weakness, it simply shows when you have been strong for too long.

Hope this geek's guide has been helpful to you in some way. I'd be happy to discuss anything in more detail in the comments or elsewhere.

Check out some other related posts I've written about emotion:

• Green Lantern and What I Learned From The Blackest Night
• Movie Review: Inside Out

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Movie Review Monday: Secondhand Lions

Welcome to another edition of Movie Review Monday!

This week's film is the 2003 feel good, coming of age, family drama Secondhand Lions, starring Michael Caine, Robert Duvall, and Haley Joel Osmont.

My partner insisted we watch this one since it is one of her favorites, alongside similar movies like Big Fish. I can see why she enjoys them, since they make you feel all warm and fuzzy as well as being just fun to watch. I really enjoyed this movie just like I did Big Fish, and it even got me to get a little misty eyed. There just is something about these sorts of movies that does it for me every time.

The plot focuses on Walter (Osmont) who is abruptly left with his two eccentric uncles (Caine and Duvall) who he has never met for the summer while his mother goes off looking for work. What follows is a silly, fun, poignant, and transformative adventure for Walter. We also learn more about his uncles and their amazing and over the top lives which have become tall tales to everyone around them. The uncles are also rumored to have a hidden fortune that all of their relatives and random traveling salesman are hounding them for. Walter is the only person in a long time that isn't after them for their money, all he needs is a family and a home.

While this movie isn't available to stream anywhere that I've looked, it is definitely worth a rental in my opinion (also if you haven't watched Big Fish, I recommend you watch that too). This film is definitely a positive emotional release if you need that after a tough time, and it would be a great choice to share with someone you care about.

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Geeky Office Décor Series: Lynne Meyer

This week we're featuring the office of Lynne Marie Meyer, the Director of Spiritual Life and Diversity at Illinois Institute of Technology.

Here's what Lynne wrote about her office:

Here are some shots of my office. There's not a lot of overtly geeky stuff -- at least, not pop culture geeky anyway -- but my prize piece of geekery is the Yoda Buddha given to me by one of my students just before she graduated. That Yoda sits right next to a little Yoda magnet given to me years ago by a Jedi-identified colleague, who decided that I needed Jedi representation among my interfaith display of icons, statues, etc. -- which has also come to include things like Mexican paper flowers, origami cranes, and yes, even a nun with a baseball bat, "Sister Runnata" (I'm a huge Cubs fan, and I want to help give my guys in blue any and all divine support that I can). Many of the icons and statues were gifts from students and colleagues, including Mary, one Ganesha, one of the Buddhas, a Greek Orthodox icon, and Athena. You can also see that I the end of the cabinet facing out towards my door, there are items about the Golden Rule in various religions, my Safe Space sticker, and two Hekate magnets. As I'm a devotee of Hekate, and since statues of Her are/were traditionally placed at thresholds/doorways, I've placed Her as close to my door as I could.

Next to that cabinet, on the wall directly to my right as I sit as my desk, you'll see a different kind of a display. The two African masks I bought because they're beautiful and I loved that artists' statements about what they signify. The Buddha tapestry was given to me by a colleague. But for me, hands-down, the central item is the focus. It's a medicine shield made for my late first husband, Ken, many years ago. He was part Northern Cheyenne, and when he was in his 20s (he was 18 years older than me), a friend made the shield for him. It features a crow, because that was Ken's spirit animal. When Ken died in early 2007 from colon cancer at the age of 53, I didn't know what to do with the shield; when he was alive, Ken was very clear that no one other than him could touch it, as it contained powerful spiritual medicine for him alone. As it turned out, I got my job at Illinois Tech later in the same year, and so I decided to display it in my office, where it could be honored and also serve as a kind of spiritual and emotional support for me. It's visible to students and colleagues, but removed enough that no one touches it. I later added the small shield with the spider on it to represent me, after a spiritually significant series of experiences following Ken's passing which left me deeply connected to Spider teachings.

The other photo shows the opposite wall, which showcases my diplomas, a 370-degree photo of Harvard Yard, a diversity-related banner, a tapestry with a favorite Dalai Lama quote, and a cool (I think) map of religious diversity in the US. You can just see the Daffy Duck mug on my desk, next to my very favorite thing in the office: that lamp. My mother's aunt Esther was a Baptist missionary who focused her career on two things: improving race relations (she was doing this in the 50s and 60s), and resettling refugees. She traveled the world, and made friends everywhere she went. One such friend, years and years ago, gave her this lamp. I've heard many stories about who it represents, and I'm not entirely sure which is accurate. We think that he's one of the Eight Immortals of Taoism. Because of the scroll and large forehead, he seems to me to be associated with wisdom. But hey, if any of your readers can give me more info about him, I'd love it!

I love this wall -- and my office as a whole -- because it's colorful, provides a number of talking points for students and colleagues when they visit, and more importantly, gives them a very visible indication that this is a space for everyone. I want students to see something of themselves here. and know, too, that I'm a real person with lots of interests who's going to take an interest in them as well.

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What I really enjoy about Lynne's office is how she brings her genuine self to the space through items given to her by friends, family, and other loved ones. Every item has a story and a meaning. There is personality covering all the walls and students instantly know who Lynne is, can ask questions, and learn so much just by the way the space is decorated. It's an amazing office that really embodies the spirit behind my thinking for this series, which is why it feels like such a great way to kick everything off. I really appreciate Lynne sharing her story in such depth for you all.

Stay tuned for more awesome offices in the coming weeks!

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Movie Review Monthly: February 2015

Welcome to this monthly wrap up of my weekly movie reviews!

This month had some cool independent movies as well as some captivating documentaries available to stream instantly via Netflix. Each week I hope to bring you a fresh new review of a great movie in the Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime streaming library. Recommendations are always welcomed!

• Food, Inc.
• Burt's Buzz
• A Long Way Down
• Chef

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Movie Review Monday: Chef

Welcome to another awesome edition of Movie Review Monday!

This week's movie is Chef, the recently released project that was written, directed, and starring Jon Favreau.

The premise of the film is that Favreau plays a disillusioned chef who loses his fancy restaurant job and then opens up his own food truck which becomes a massive hit and makes him happier than he has ever been, as well as closer to his family.

I mentioned this movie once before in a weekly geek out after I watched it via a rental from Redbox. I really enjoyed the movie and heard many good things about it, which is what led me to check it out in the first place. It's a great look at food, family, love, and the artistic and emotional connection we can have with food.

Favreau is awesome in this movie, as is the ensemble supporting him. There is a very natural flow of humor and authenticity in the movie. It is fun, fresh, and a light feel good movie. It will make you smile (and make you hungry!). The whole thing just felt right and I can see this having been a true passion project for Favreau. It seems like it is exactly the movie he wanted it to be and I'm glad it exists. There isn't much out there in the mainstream that feels original and engaging like this film does.

I recommend you stream Chef, which is available right now on Netflix!

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